Embarrased
by CityOfBonesLuver123
Summary: Magnus/Alec.  Slash.  Fluff, & Angst Alec gets his first kiss from a certain warlock and Maryse tells him a story that may ruin the relationship. Rated T for mild language and yaoi :P  Not lemon but it gets a little intense.
1. First Time

I'm bored, what can I say, and have long ago tested my hand at fanfic. it's fun, the characters are there for you its all your interperation...

It was hard to hear everything going on when all I could focus one was Jace. His beautiful golden hair was curling inhis face like it did sometimes. One arm was around Clary, and she was leaned into his chest gently. Why couldn't that have been me? I'd thirsted for Jace's touch longer then Clary had even known him. I'd been in love with him before she even knew the meaning of the word "Shadowhunter". At least she made him smile. he had such a gorgeous smile...

"Pining, Alec?" asked a voice on my ear. I jumped, shocked out of my reverie. Turning, I saw Magnus's smirking face, glitter piled on his eye lids.

"What makes you think that?" I replied defensivly, knowing immediatly my tone gave away exactly what I wanted to hide. I sighed, and Magnus's catline green eeys caught my own, "How long?"

"How long have I loved Jace? Always. When did it turn from brotherly love to romantic love? I don't know." So easy, it was, to confide in a stranger when I was supposed to be on business, on alert for anything odd. We were officially here because Magnus feared the werewolves and vampires fighting, but the reason we'd accepted to keep the peace was that the Enclave was honestly worried that the two Downworlders were on the brink of war.

My heart alwasy hurt though, business or not. Jace was my parabatai, my best friend and brother in every sense of the word. I saw him almost every moment of everyday, and wanted a good portion fo that time. It was good to let go, for a moment..

"Ah. it hurts, does it not? Loving one who will never love you back..." My defenses were up as I said, "I suppose."

"You suppose?" he laughed, "Relax, Alec, I won't tell anyone your secrets."

"We're in the middle of a party, Magnus." I retorted, stating the obvious.

He rolled his eyes, "But of course there is always the option of being AWAY from the rest of ther party-goers" he waggled his eyebrows and something inside of me fluttered. No male had ever flirted with me, especially not in such an upfront manner, like Magnus was doing.

"I'm on duty, remember? And for all you know, I'm here on other Shadownhunter business as well."

"Well, if I can count I see one, two, three, four other Shadownhunters here. If something truly happens, you can come out and help them, but in the meantime, we can talk...play around a bit." His eyebrow cocked in the same way Jace's did and I melted.

"Okay...just for a little bit."

Magnus grinned, happy that I gave in, and lead me through a short hallway into a room.

My cheeks burned like they were on fire, as though there was a match being held to my cheeks.

I sat down cautiosly on a love seat in the corner of his room, curling my feet up to my chest.

"Care to elaborate on Jace? I just don't see it."

"Beyond the fact that he's gorgeous?" I laughed, somewhat sardonically. "He's my parabatai, Magnus, my best friend, my brother, my everything, we are closer to each other then to anyone else."

"Closeness often seems to result in love, for whatever reason." he mused softly.

I nodded, wishing I was anywhere but here, but at the same time still beign oddly drawn to him.

He leaned into me a little and murmered, "How were you liking the party? Or were you to transfixed by Jace? I've gotta say, he's fairly handsome."

'Fairly'? I wanted to say- Jace was so much more then beautiful; because he was also attractive on the inside, if you could see past his hardness.

"It's...interesting. I haven't really been around this many Downworlders and not been on official business, but still having to pay attention to them."

"Do you ever enjoy yourself?" he impored, glittery eyes suddenly serious.

"What do you mean?"

"Your like a puppy, the way you speak of Jace."

My skin prickled, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up...just like a dog's.

Frick.

"I am not-"

He leaned over, lips pressing into mine with enough force to shut me up.

Wow. Never ever had I kissed anyone, much less a boy...it felt good. Different, new, yes, but good. His hand wound delicatly through my hair, and I shivered, pleasure pulsing through my body.

Somehow I found myself pretending he was Jace. Pretending his gelled black hair was Jace's golden locks.

I couldn't helped it-I ached for Jace like I'd never ached for anyone. His hands, pulling my face closer and closer, were Jace's hands..

A cold hand slipped under my shirt, just a bit, hooking under the waistband of my black jeans, and I yelped against his mouth, pulling away the slightest bit, being forced to remember, 'Magnus. Not Jace, Magnus.' For some reason, that made the butterflies slip around in my throat even more then before.

Magnus chuckled, the throaty sound near my ear. His breath was warm against my neck and I was suddenly freezing, aching to be closer to his warmth. I shifted in the chair, pushing myself closer to Magnus-

"Alec!" Isabelle's voices was breathy and worried-she worried about me too much, my beloved little sister, so accepting of me when I am, in fact, so ashamed of myself. I wrenched my mouth away from Magnus's, missing the contact but being terribly afraid of how Isabelle, or Jace, Clary, or Maryse would react to this scene splayed out in front of them.

"Oh...Um...I'm sorry guys...Alec, Mom wants to speak with you..." She scuffed her foot against the ground, biting her lip and bouncing in p[lace a little. It took a whole lot to make Isabelle uncomfortable but walking in on her _brother_ with a _male Downworlder_? That would do the trick, apparently.


	2. Maryse's Tale

**A/N Sorry if the kiss scene in chapter one sucks, I've never had MY first kiss, this is all going on imagination and reading...alot. lol.**

**Thanks to -tay10r. for my first review here (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all characters, personalities, words, and worlds are Cassandra Clare's.**

**Also-I have no idea when this takes place, I just started writing because I was having writer's block. I haven't read COG yet(sis has it) but it seems from other things that have hinted, that Alec coems out or something, so this couldn't really be post COG or pre COG cuz Clary and Jace are outwardly together. I'd like it to be post COB pre COA, like an interlude, but supposing Clary and Jace are okay with each other. or something. lol.**

**Sorry this is kinda short, it's my birthday and we are going out to do stuff soon but I wanted to post first :P lol**

"Oh. Um. Okay." I got up awkwardly. "See you, Magnus." his cat eyes were unreadable, leering at me, almost, but smirking also.

We walked down the hall slowly. I was scared to face my mom- what would I tell her? I was a horrible liar.

"Got a boyfriend, Alec?" murmered Isabelle into my ear, a gleam in her eye. Was she really smiling? This wasn't a game, wasn't a joke. If the gay part wasn't enough to get me exiled from the Shadow World, the fact that Magnus was a warlock might be.

At least it wasn't incest.

Ah. Ew. Why did that thought have to flip itself it my mind? I didn't need to think of Clary and jace like that-ew.

I closed my eyes, slamming my teeth down into my lower lip, drawing a tang of metellic blood.

'I don't know, Izzy. You know mother wouldn't approve, or any of the Clave, really..." I trailed off, my heart picking up speed not just at the thought of Magnus, but at the thought of exile. Wouldn't that be horrific?

"Stop doubting yourself." she smiled a hope-mom-doesn't-rip-you-in-half-and-eat-your-brains-cuz-i-love-you-and-don't-want-you-to-die kind of smile, the kind that was intended to make you feel better but in all honesty just made you feel sick and nasty inside.

"Hey, Ma."

"Alexander!" she hugged me energetically, "Where were you?"

Think, Alec, think. Talk smooth... "Talking to Magnus about all these parties and how Shadowhunters can't just come here for every one to moniter his guests."

"You couldn't discuss that somewhere we could actually find you?" her eyes were cold, the same color as mine.

"Where the vampires and werewolves could hear us? Come on now, Mom."

Her face relaxed a bit, "I suppose so, Alec." she relented, "Did you get anywhere with this conversation?"

I fought to keep my face nuetral. _Nope Mom, sorry, we started kissing. And he's a good kisser too_._._..

"Not really. Isabelle came to get me pretty soon after we walked in there," I paused while Mayrse "humph"ed is disapprovment, "What was it you wanted to tal to me about that got Izzy so riled up?"

"Ah. Yes. Just wanted to tell you a story Robert just told me, about a Nephilim in Texas. She was involved in a relationship with a vampire and lets just say it didn't really end wonderfully.."

Blood pounded in my ears.

"Did the vampire kill her?" I demanded, voice an octave higher then I would've liked it.

"Morsco? No, he would never do something like that. He was the opposite of a bad boy- a real dork in life, and in death it was amplified, it seems. Either that, or he tried to apmplify the features that made him human to grasp blindly at his humanity. Who knows," she shrugged, "Anyway, the Clave found out and got very mad. She was exiled, but not before she got to watch her precious vampire be killed. She might, maybe, if she is an angel, be able to return one day, but her reputation will be tarnished beyonf cleansing."

I felt my Adam's Apple bob in my throat and could swear I saw shimmering out of the corner of my eyes- faeries or Magnus? Who knows. What strange timing for this story...

"Just thought I'd let you know. While you're at this party, don't fall into the trap of associating with Downworlders too much, okay?"

I gulped again, water sticking in my throat like in a cartoon where the character knows he's in big trouble, right before he bolts.

Those characters, the ones that run, always seem to get caught, though.

But they usually end up okay, in the end.

"Okay, Mom." I forced a smile, trying my hardest to make it real, and she smiled back at me, "Okay. Go dance with your sister of something- we still have 3 hours to kill."


	3. Magnus's Infatuation

**Thanks to HidingDani,****Bethflower,Bookworm24601, and Dystriel**** for reviews. very appriciated 3 Alec blushes a lot and easily, right? I keep trying to keep that in mind lol. I know Maryse killed the mood- when I wrote this I was intending it to be a one-shot but that idea just twisted itself into my mind and bam I had a plot. lol. Again, I own nothing. I did make up the vampire boy though but the world, mannerisms, expressions, etc, belong to Cassandra Clare (: 3**

Thanks, Mom. Kill my mood x100. "Associating." with Downworlders. If only she'd known what I'd just been doing. Or did she? She hadn't relayed this information to the rest of the children in her care, i.e. Jace, Clary, and Isabelle. At least, she hadn't that I knew of...but how would she know? I'd only met Magnus one other time, when he'd told me to call him. I flushed at the memory, embarrassed all over again. but anyway, she wasn't there that day, how would she know? Was she trying to stop a bad thing before it happened? or was I just reading to much into a motherly(for our Mom) gesture of protection? Gack.

Isabelle's hands yanked at mine, pulling me from my reverie with a force. She was grinning a fake grin, one that looked taped onto her face, like, carefully concealing her real words, yet voicing them just the same. _What happened?_ I knew she wanted to ask.

I spun her around, carefully, through my arms, and murmered, "Did Mom tell you the story? About the Shadowhunter and the vampire being together?"

"Yeah, she told Jace and I a day or two ago. I think you were out with Clary, at Luke's or something." how could she be so calm, dancing with such grace, yet so full of anxiety? I could see it in her eyes, and it put me in awe, like Izzy always did, her beauty so striking.

"Magnus..."

"Is really sexy, by the way. Nice choice for a boyfriend." she stage winked at me and I blushed, whispering, "he's not my boyfriend. Did you NOT hear Mom's story?"

"I heard the story that had very few details involved. You don't know if that really was reciprication for their love or for other things, and that was the last straw. I also heard a story where love was punished- that's stupid."

"Straight love." I mumbled and her face clouded over, the earlier defiance fading percibly.

Jace's hands replaced Isabelle's and he smirked at me happily, blissfully, and I laughed, Jace's hands probably the only thing that could possibly snap me out of my miserable state.

Of course, Jace didn't realize what he was doing to me, spinning me around like a doll, both of us giggling like crazy. Sometimes, I might've fought the blissed feeling, knowing this was all a joke to him, a game, but I didn't this time, this time I welcomed it, the seering electricity shooting up my skin.

"What's wrong, Alec?"

I immediatly said, "Nothing, Jace. Mom's story made me squirm a little, that's all." Did I say that too fast? Too defensivly?

It seemed not, because Jace wistfully replied, "Hm. You see death everyday, yet a seperation of lovers and death of a vampire bothers you?"

It wasn't mocking, exactly, but not gentle either, mocking in the way a brother mocked you, a sarcastic tease. "I guess so," I laughed to myself gently, musing in my head why that was. Because of Magnus, yes, but why is it that love, or just simple attraction, makes you do things you wouldn't imagine doing in your wildest dreams? Or maybe not wildest dreams, but it sure did make people do crazy things.

He laughed gently, eyes shining, and replied, "And it's not like talking to or even kissing a Downworlder would get those kinds of rebuke. That's just PG-rated still, you know?"

The butterflies in my stomach weren't PG rated. They couldn't be, not with the amount of violent flying they were doing, rattling my stomach. I know Jace had been trying to calm me down, but as I sat down on a barstool, my head spun even more. Damn you, Jace, damn you, for using the word "kiss" and "Downworlder" in the same sentence.

The kiss popped into my mind with a vengence, gentle and warm against my memory. I twirled around so that I was facing the bar, hopefully hiding the blush on my face. Why had I even kissed magnus? What the hell had possessed me?

Desire. I knew the answer without realizing i did.

Usually in my stories (normal or fanfic) I don't alternate PoVs so I thought I'd give it a go, I haven't written like this in awhile :3

MAGNUSPOV

His blush was lushious; I could see him trying to hide it. Why was he blushing? Was he thinking about his dance with Jace, reading more into it, or...was he thinking about me? The thought made ME blush- thankfully I had all this makeup to hide it- Alec's pale cheeks were bare, innocent, as was his neck and throat...

No, don't go there Magnus. I'd heard exactly what Maryse just said to him- he had looked terrified the entire time. It was a wonder she didn't ask him why, but I suppose she's used to Alec's flighty nature.

Where did that leave us? He'd seemed to dumbstruck when I'd started talking to him, but then he kissed me so easily...and his eyes were so BLUE. I hadn't even really got a good look at them, hadn't been able to note what kind of pattern swirled around in his eyes. We hadn't been in close proximity long enough. But the color of his eyes was so deep and pure a blue they were also especially hard not to notice, especially paired with his black hair and pale-ish skin.

I had a party to focus on. Why was I having so much trouble with that? Seriously. He was just a boy, only 18 or so, to my long long years, and a Shadowhunter at that, It could never be, even if Maryse's words hadn't struck a cord in Alec's mind.

So why did I continue to find the way he held his body, with such unease and lack of confidence, so damn alluring? He was so different then the other Shadowhunters I'd met, with their above you attitudes and disgusted glances when they thought I wasn't looking.

A younger looking vampire came up to me and I regained my composure as he began to chat with me- I'd found vampires were quite chatty when entinced or in the mood.

"This is a elegant party, Magnus. Magnificant. Especially since none of the Moon's children are here." he grinned like the Chesire Cat and I scrambled for his name-he obviously knew mine. But then again, who didn't? I was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. There were a lot more Vampires then there were High Warlocks of Brooklyn.

I smirked back at him, "If you two species could get along the parties would be even more diviine, everyone mixing, maybe a little drama.." I winked and he laughed a thick, sick, dark laugh. I loved vampires laughs, the darkness and evil to them. Intoxicating.

Seamus! That was his name. Seamus. His skin, even paler then Alec's, shown metellically in the flashing colored lights. His eyes looked gray, cool and cutting. I suspected they'd once been blue, or blue-ish gray.

The boy chatted at me more, about his motorcycle, how it was being strange lately, and would I look at it? And maybe another friend's too? And how much would it be? I answered with as much fake enthusiasm as I could muster.

Soon, too soon, the party was dying down. People were leaving, but I could pratically FEEL the Nephilim's unease, still wondering if a fight would break out or not.

I wanted to go up to Alec, bad, wanted to kiss him, at least a peck, just to see how he'd react. Wanted to look into his blue eyes-study them. I hadn't seen blue eyes like that since Will. Not that I'd liked Will- Will had been too much like Jace, very pretty, but very arrogant and obnoxious, snobby to a point, somedays.

I almost didn't say anything to him

Almost.

I couldn't help myself, I turned to maryse and him and murmered, "Thanks for the...watching."

Maryse nodded curtly but Alec's eyes locked onto mine, then broke away, and he was gone.

**Will, if anyone doesn't know, is in Clockwork Angel. Only the first one is out so for all I know there will be a relationship but I'm pretty sure not. Anyway, hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. R/R**


	4. Miserably Loving You

**Lol while I was writing chapter three my sister came up behind me and goes, 'Sexy? Whose sexy?' rofl. out of all the words I'd written her brain picked that one out xD it was amazing. ANyway, Disclaimer, I odn't own, this is all copywrighted by the wonderful Cassandra Clare.**

**Also-I might write a song fic, but it also might fit in with an eventual part in the story(Kandyland by Brokencyde) so I might just call a chapter that. Dunno. Thoughts?**

Chap 4

5 days later

Alec's PoV

I was flipping around in my bed, desperatly trying to fall asleep and failing miserably. This wasn't particularlly new to me-I'm always has insomnia. And lots of it was angst induced...Jace induced. What was new, tonight, what made it hard to just curl up with my thoughts and let fantasies unfurl was the face tormentting my dreams now-Magnus's. It was weird, really-I would've choosen Jace over Magnus, still, in a heartbeat. But somehow he was pushing his way into my thoughts, the quick kiss we shared sizzling my mind...

I guess I finally fell asleep because I woke up. I groaned, rolling on to my stomach:it was 3 in the morning. Groaning again, I buried my face in the pillow. I couldn't have been asleep more then and hour or two. Damn Magnus. Damn Jace. Damn INSOMNIA.

I stared at the ceiling, still afraid to really let Magnus's mind come to my face...

Before I knew exactly what I was doing, I was walking out of the Institute's doors shutting them as softly as I could manage. Where the hell was I going? What was I doing-why? I was in thin, baggy pajama bottoms(not that it mattered so that they were thin in 76 degree summer night weather), a black tank top, and briefs.

Not that Magnus would see the briefs...AH, Alec, don't go there, no, not yet. I might be sleepless with infatuation but I wouldn't go THAT far with someone I barly knew.

Jace on the other hand...

GAH! What was my problem tonight? Can't stop thinking sexually.

Was I being stupid? Should I really go to Magnus's? Had I NOT heard my Mom's story? Falling for a warlock could be the death of me, and the Lightwood name, which I knew mattered to Mom and Dad.

I always thought doors only looked this big and imposing in movies. I swear, it had grown a foot, maybe even two, since we'd last been here. Really, though, it was crazy. I stood there like an idiot, taking in every detailI could. Stalling. There were cracks in his door, foot imprints and things that may have been snapped my magic; paint in slightly different shades crawling along the trim. Less put-together then the Magnus I saw, or, thought I saw, at least.

I turned, suddenly afraid

Magnus's PoV

"Emily, please, there's nothing wrong with the way I light up when you're around, Do anything you want, but don't leave me out,Emily, please, just get closer to me."

I loved that song, it was beautiful. I'd always thought it was a little bit corny, sort of a teenaged-angst crush song, but now it hit a cord; at least, the chorus did. Just change "Emily" to "Alec"

That doesn't flow right, though, neither did Alexander. Songs are made with tunes. Em-i-ly. Al-ec. Al-ex-an-der. Didn't fit right.

Chairman Meow mewled and scratched at the door.

"What do you want?" I demanded, annoyed at my cat for wanting to go outside at this hour, "It's 3 in the freaking morning. I was going to go to sleep soon."

I rubbed my make-up-less eyes and perked my eyes-Chairman Meow was being awful insistant. Was someone at the door?

I lurched up, opening the door, and Chairman Meow shot out, running down he stairwell, and I sighed. He probably just wanted to get out...but I'd have to let him back in-though he could push open the cat flap, he had trouble getting back thorugh it without getting stuck.

I walked down and saw sapphire eyes turning away from my front stoop. Gorgeous, blue, ocean eyes.

I knew those eyes.

**Like it so far? Are the OOC? Trying not to make it to bad. the Emily song is Miserably Loving You by Artist - there will most likely be a lot of music entertwinned in this fic becasue I love music, simple as that (: I have to go do the dishes and probably my homework eventually, so yeah I'm going to leave it oof here, sorry it was short.**


	5. Hiccups

**chap 5**

**Thanks again Bookworm24601 for still reading lol, yes this was a total plot bunny attack xD mean plot bunnies stop chasing Bookworm!. And lol, I do the name replacing thing in my head when I'm listening to music, and I was listening to that song...it fit the moment :P... Thanks StoryKitten for letting me know they aren't OOC (: Thanks EchoingSilence for the Happy Birthday (: Thanks HidingDani and Patricia Sage (: if I ever don't mention you here, sorry I probably missed the email but I read every review (: Ummm also, don't you people think Adam Lambert would make a FABULOUS Magnus? Just saying! he even has the highlights thing going on :P**

**777 hits! I LOVE you guys :DD**

**BTW I own no music I use, or characters, they belong to their rightful owners(: **

Alec PoV

The door open right after my foot fell from the last step, as though perfectly choreographed. I wanted to freeze, I wanted to turn to Magnus and run at him...I wanted a fucking hug, honestly. After all the pining and sexual want and exaustion, most of what I really wanted was a hug. Truly.

"Alec" Magnus's voice soft in volume but hard in acual tone, yet somehow it managed to waver. His predatory cat eyes locked onto my back fiercly, forcing me to turn around."

"What." I mumbled, mad, at myself, for being so stupid and feeling the way I did, and for Magnus, for returning those feelings. I'd never had feelings returned, ever, and it almost physically hurt to realize that there could be _something_ between us.

"Come here." he whispered, softly, his voice inticing, delicious, seductive...

And I did. Was I enchanted? I couldn't help but wonder if it was his magical cat eyes making my feet move forward and stand beside him, caution in my movements...or something else?

"Come inside? You look exausted."

"I couldn't sleep." I mumbled, then quickly regretted it when I saw Magnus's eyebrow cock in the darkness, moonlight falling gently across his face. He looked so much different without the glam and glitter, so much softer and gentler, vulnerable, but he still had the presence of THE High Warlock of Brooklyn, a bit cocky and extroverted.

We walked in the door to his loft, standing awkwardly for a moment.

"Drink? Coffee? Water?" I shook my head. My stoamch didn't feel in any shape to have food or water in it- I was already feeling sick with anxiety, thinking of all the things that could go wrong all the things that WERE wrong with this, with us...

"Why are you here?" Magnus asked, voice sounding like he was trying not to let whatever he was really feeling through all the way. His face looked physically tired.

I raised an eyebrow, trying to communicate the words, "Why do you think?" through the tense air, but failing miserably. Jace and Magnus had an eyebrow talent I didn't. Wow, that's weird. I like guys with flexible eyebrows, apparently...I dug my nails into my palm, trying to focus on what was going on. Quietly, I murmered, "Why do you think?"

His face looked conflicted as he said, "Maryse's story didn't scare you?"

"...It did." I mumbled after opening my mouth, closing it, pausing, and then finally speaking.

"Then why, especially when you have Jace?"

My already overwhelming blush deepened, I had to have looked crimson by now as I spoke again, "I don't _have_ Jace."

Magnus flopped down onto the couch and gestured for me to do the same, for me to get away from the door jam and actually near him. Which, I found, was difficult. Whatever feelings and desires had possessed me to come here had deserted me the moment I walked away from the door.

He chuckled, 'But you have him to look at; to pine over, to smile with and think about, without reprucussions gfrom the Clave."

"Except for the fact that I'm not sure if the Clave is okay with me being _gay_." It was one of the first times I'd said 'gay' out loud, one of the first times I'd acknowledged, with words, my own attractions. The word was short and felt strange on my tounge, foreign, something I'd thought about so many times never said. The word felt emotional, too, it held so much connotation, anguish and denial, all slippery around my mouth.

My face must've twisted up somehow, because Magnus smiled the faintest ghost of a smile and said, "Don't like that word, Alec?" But he also looked faintly annoyed. I could guess see why...he didn't really give a damn what people thought about him, and I did, in such a manner that i hid a large portion of myself.

"It wouldn't be a big deal if you didn't make it one."

I wrenched my eyes shut like I was trying to dispell a spider.

I hated spiders.

I sighed, eyes still closed. I didn't like Magnus's tone, the way he seemed like he _wanted_ me not to care...it was dizzying, knowing that someone cared for me. I'd never been cared for in THAT manner before.

I pulled my eyes reluctantly open and said, "How do you know? You're not inside my head-you don't know how much I've dreamed about Jace, and, on the flipside, how much I dread the day when- if- the Clave finds out. In the last year, I've started to think it's a "when" not an "if" which scares me even more. For awhile, I was thinking I could MAKE myself settle down with a girl, or at least, pretend, go through the motions, but I don't think I can..." I choked on my voice, hiccuping and shoving my head between my knees. I hated hiccups- they lasted forever, with me.

I felt Magnus's weight leave the couch, then heard the water run. More hiccups ripped through my body; I bit my cheek, trying to hold them down.

Water. Shoved in my face. "Drink it. Helps with the hiccups." his face was right there, so close, so so close...and then he puleld back, sitting closer to me then he had been, but still not as close as the warmth I'd longed for.

Awkward silence while I swallowed the water and held my breath, hands knotted around the fabric of my p.j. pants as iracketed more hiccups.

"Can't you just make this go away?" I growled/hiccuped.

Magnus grinned and snapped his fingers, sayinf, "All you had to do was ask."

The hiccups were gone. My body felt almost empty, but much better...

More silence. This was getting to be too much. I looked at the clock-4:05. Shit. I should go, and soon, "Magnus, I should really get going..."

He looked at me for a moment, then looked away with a sigh. "Okay, Alec. Goodbye." I stood up, awkward, hesitant. Was that all? "Bye" and it's done?

"See you later," I whispered, then bolted.

**Bet you all were expecting a kiss weren't you? So was I! lol this is just how it worked out in my head...soon, I promise (: R&R appriciated (:**


	6. Promises and Shopping

**HIDING DANI- Thank you (: I was going to and then was like...no...it doesn't fit right...**

**Magic Noctum, Bookworm(and yes, plot bunnies can be ferocious:P lol), QuestionmarksAndCommas(kissing soon:P), Story Kitten(lol yes damn Alec:P I think I kinda know what's gonna happen, prob soon following this chapter, like riiight after lol, jensonluvsyou(thanks for saying it's cute :P 3 and lol yeah I started listening to him a week or so ago and was just like that's my Magnus! lol. And yes I agree, he looks like him and acts kinda like him, very open with himself and all), THANKS for the reviews((:**

**UMM another thing I drew a cute pic of Magnus and Alec a couple days ago so so check it out on Deviant Art, LittleDreamer15...I'm not really a good artist ever but I'm getting a bit better. I switch up POV a lot-ish in here, mostly because I'm not quite sure what to say for Magnus right now, currently the next step in their relationship rests on Alec's shoulders.**

**I'm never quite sure how to portray Izzy. A lot of fanfics make her obnoxiously girly and little sister-like..hope she seemed okay.**

Magnus PoV

So close. Our faces had been so close, our bodies in such close proximity. And, unlike the last time, we were truly alone. there was no Isabelle to butt in(accidentally, yes, but still.) like before, yet somehow we didn't even managed a hug. The slightest slip of hands against hands, maybe, but other then that, no contact at all.

I sighed, the sound of the door clicking shut as Alec pratically ran out of my loft echoing in my mind, so hollow.

In that moment I hated the Clave with a passion. Not only for the whole "Downworlders are icky" thing, but for making him so scared of being gay. He was, there was nothing he could fucking do about it. That should be that, case closed, but even I wasn't sure if that's how it would be. And that was bullshit. You should be able to sleep with who you want to sleep with-I'd had 800 years to form that opinion, and I stood by it, always would. Alec would give anything to like girls-to like A girl- I could see it in his eyes. But it wasn't to be.

Fate can be cruel.

I almost screamed as Chairman meow's claws dug into my leg, waking me up faster then I'd woken up in awhile. I moaned, kicking my leg and getting no satisfaction out of the mewl he let out when he hit the ground.

He was fine, of course- if he wasn't, I could mend him.

I snapped my fingers, pouring cat food into his bowl, and he scuttled out. I looked at the clock- 12:05. Shit- I had a client at 1, some mortal boy with The Sight. We were going to discuss things- whether he wanted to forget this all, or be a slave or the Shadowworld, as was the fate of a mundie with the sight, unfortunately.

Alec PoV

What the hell? Had that really just happened? I thought, scuttling through the doors and hoping to The Angel that Jace wouldn't be up. Or my parents. Izzy...Izzy wouldn't be preferable, but I could handle her. And Clary...Clary knew, unfortunately. I was a few feet away from my door when Izzy practically pounced on me, "Did you kiss?" she demanded, laughter in her eyes. She hoped me had, of course. If I ever got in a room, alone, with Magnus and Izzy, I was going to get attacked.

"Why do you think I was at Magnus's?" My face felt warm.

"Because you're blushing like a cherry. Did you?"

"I...no."

"Why?" she asked, eyes lined in light makeup to make the curiosity pop even more then if her face had been plain. Why did everyone insist on wearing makeup? Isabelle, Magnus...it made them look a bit intimidating.

"I don't know. it was all...very awkward. What with the hiccups and not knowing what to say..."

"Hiccups? You got hiccups while you were there? Oh Angel..." she rolled her eyes dramatically.

"I'm tired, Izzy. Can we talk later?"

"Hm. Promise you'll tell em when you first kiss?"

"Sure. I promise." I mumbled tiredly. The exhaustion was only now really coming down on me.

"Swear to it."

"By the Angel Isabelle!" her gaze didn't leave my face, "Fine! I swear by the Angel that IF we kiss, I'll tell you. Happy?"

She giggled and said, "Yup. Night, Alec."

I wanted to slam my door, but what would that do besides wake everyone up? Sigh. Isabelle could be so obnoxious...at least it hadn't been Mom or Dad or Jace, I guess.

I lay down and just like that I was out.

Isabelle's face taunted my dreams. Her certainty that I would kiss Magnus. Was she BLIND? Could she not see the repercussions? Not that long ago, she hadn't thought Downworlders were all that great herself. But, of course, when her brother gets into a..._thing_... with a warlock, then it's fine.

Ugh. This would be easier if Izzy was telling me I was wrong.

I ambled downstairs still half-asleep, only to smack into Jace at the bottom ofthe stairs.

Jace grinned, "You look like a zombie, Alec. Get bit by a vampire last night?"

I smiled slightly. if only you knew, Jace Wayland, that i could've gotten bit by a whole different downworlder, in a whole different way...hm. I didn't even try to dispel the thought, just mumbled, "Maybe. You better watch out." and bared my teeth.

Jace laughed and sauntered into the kitchen, grabbing some Cocoa Puffs from the cabinet, "Want some?" he asked.

"Sure." I mumbled, slipping into a chair and laying my head down.

"Tired vampire, eh, Alec? Get your own cereal." he laughed as I groaned, picking my head up and hopping over to the cabinets. it was so easy to fall back into habit with Jace..I could almost forget Magnus.

Almost.

_ 5 Ravener demons, two Forsaken, and some Clary-Jace Kissing later_

"Come on, Alec, we are going out now. We need to get you out of those drab sweaters. I promise you can get some black things...but you need new clothes, NOW."

"But-"

"Jace will call if we're needed. Calm down."

"I like my sweaters, though."

"Tough. They're boring..there isn't even a logo on most of them!"

I sighed, defeated. Izzy would keep fighting me until I gave in, I knew. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

Izzy grinned, happy that she had won.

2 hours later we were approaching a store completely unfamiliar to me, like all the other ones she'd dragged me to. Aeropostale, which smelled funny, Zumiez, where I got a black and white hoodie, JC Penny, where all the shirts had annoying logos and mundie humor I didn't understand, Kohls, were I'd found a black a teal plaid button-up(mostly black), a music store where we bought a couple CDs that Izzy said Clary had showed her(Artist vs. Poet, NeverShoutNever, The Fray, and The Icarus Account). This one read Hot Topic is curling, sharp letters. I groaned-it looked like another store that would be playing horrible music

Izzy just laughed and said, "You are getting at least a shirt here. Maybe some pants. Okay?"

I didn't respond, just kept walking(Simon had dropped us off at the mundie mall) into the store.

At least it didn't smell weird.

Something I didn't particularly like was on the speakers, but thank The Angel it wasn't too loud. Isabelle looked around, biting her lip, and her face lit up when her eyes met a shirt across the room. She grabbed my wrist, hauling me across the floor to the back**.(A/N the Hot Topic where I live is super duper small so I'm pretending this one is biiiger lol so imagine it bigish. Also, it's mostly Band Tees, like that's really all that's there in terms of shirts, and I'm kind of changing that...lol)**We were soon standing in front of a rack of black jeans and elbow gloves.

"I am not wearing this shit. Too tight. This is like how Magnus wears his stuff."

She raised an eyebrow but otherwise ignored me, grabbing a pair of black jeans(they looked like jeans, not leather...I could only hope), a black and gray striped sweater that didn't look horrible, a thick gray and black striped ring, and a black shirt with a skull around the breast. Her hands paused and she looked thoughtful, "Your hair would sure look pretty with highlights..."

"No!" I almost-screamed. Hell no.

Isabelle laughed and said, "Go try those on, Alec."

I sighed, turning to the fitting room.

Izzy PoV

I checked the time on my phone. Magnus better be here soon, to see his boyfriend come of the fitting room in a black shirt, skiny jeans, and sexy ring. I hoped Alec wouldn't put the sweater on. Even if he did, he'd look cute-adorable. Alec always looked adorable in my eyes.

"Hey, Isabelle." I jumped, smiling at his chuckle, "Hey, Magnus. Alec's trying stuff on."

"Does he know I'm coming?"

I smirked. "Of course not."

**Most likely I will pick this up in Magnus's PoV. Hope you liked it (:**

**I like ALOT of different music, but when I put the CDs they got I wanted it to be softer, Pop-Punk things, no screaming, nothing heavy. Just thought I'd add that (: Also didn't want to make it TOO pop-ish, that doesn't seem Alec-ish. Magnus will probably address Alec's music deprivation eventually, because I love music and want it in this fanfic, lol. && I usually like what's being played at HT, but Alec doesn't.:P**


	7. Jealously

**chap 7 :D RIght now I should be showering but screw it I feel like writing.**

**Bookworm-lolz :P I didn't write another chap yesterday I was running errands with my mom pretty much all day lol more now...(:**

**Aleksander-Nikolaevich-Her- Thanks (: I was trying to pick music that wasn't like...to heavy or to light, not like radio music either...lol. And ah man that sucks about no Hot Topic DX I love Hot Topic :P**

**Patricia Sage&QuestionMarksandCommas-thanks for reading (:**

**Shi-Toyu-THANK U((: for saying it was addicting lol. More now (:**

**Hiding Dani-I feel bad for Magnus too but like...I know where this chapter is going now so I feel better :P lol. And yes everyone always said Alec liked sweaters and I was looking at the Hot Topic website for ideas cuz I'm weird like that and I was like sweaterrr! lol. I will look those songs up sooon (:**

Alec PoV

I couldn't hear Isabelle talking, so it was a complete, mortifying suprise when I walked out of the dressing room and her and Magnus were standing there discussing which hair colors looked best in black hair.

I felt ot embarrased. Mundies seeing me like this didn't really bother me-why should it? I didn't know them- but _Magnus_? By the smirk plastered on Izzy's face I guessed she'd done this on purpose...of course. Angel! How much did she know? About us, about that night..?

I bit my lip, wishing to go back in the dressing room and rip off the sweater, skin tight shirt, skinny jeans, and ring.

Actually, I liked the ring.

Magnus didn't even try to hide the fact that he was looking at me, mouth quirking up at the corners. My cheeks felt like...I don't know. But they were burning, red hot. It had to look funny against the rest of my pale skin and black clothes. The thought made the blush spread to my neck. I wonder if its possible to choke on blush? Can you die of embarrasment?

"Hey." Magnus murmered in my ear.

"Hi," I replied in a monotone.

Why was Magnus's presence doing this to me? Jeez! I'm just going ot ignore him and pretend he's not here.

"Like it, Izzy?" I implored, smiling and holding up my finger, "I like this ring."

"Do you like the rest of it, though?"

"Not really. it's too tight."

She looked exasperated as she replied, "It's _supposed_ to be tight, stupid. It looks good on you."

I really don't think I could've blushed anymore, as Magnus nodded with her. Ignore him, Alec... "It doesn't feel good though."

"You'll get used to it. Go take them off and bring them out, okay? They look good on you. We've been out for hours and you barly have anything."

I rolled my eyes but did as I was told, walking back into the dressing room and stripping down. I stood it front of the mirror in only a tight tshirt and jeans. Izzy was right...I did look good. Not in a concieted way, just...I didn't usually wear clothes like that. And I liked how they looked on me. It didn't seem me, somehow, but Izzy was going to buy them, regardless, so I might as well go along with it.

Right?

And the way Magnus had looked at me...mm. It made me squirm, now that I was alone and able to let my facade go for a moment. He thought I'd looked good, too. Angel, why did that made me so uncomfortable?

Magnus PoV

Alec had looked good. He always did, always looked adorable and innocent, especially when he blushed- I loved that. But in tight denim and a tight sweater? Yum.

But he'd completly ignored me, I couldn't help but notice. And it wasn't in his usual shy manner- he was_ ignoring _me, like not looking at me, paying all his attention to Izzy..why? Did I make him uncomfortable? Was he ashamed? What was it?

Two can play at that game- I can make Alec jealous. I can flirt.

The other boy, Jayden, laughed. He had a giggly, somewhat annoying laugh, but he was surving my purpose well. Alec was glowering by Izzy on the otherside of the table-we were in the food court. Which, at this mall, is a huge open space circle with food place semi-surrounding it, escalators on one end and an opening of other store at the other. I was flipped around my my chair, straddling the back part, and Alec and Izzy were eating French Fries. I'd heard Alec mumble that they were even grosser then Izzy's cooking, but I don't think she noticed. Alec, I was starting to think, was not a fan of greasy fast food.

Anyway Jayden was sitting behind me and I started to mess with him, talk to him, give him compliments. He was gay- I've had 800 years to fine-tune my gaydar. It's exceptional.

"I love your smile...it's one of the nice things you can do with your lips." I waggled an eyebrow and he turned red, giggling unsurely.

He wasn't as red as Alec, though, or as pale. He was tanner, by a fair bit, dressed in blue stone-washed jeans and a paramore t-shirt. The puzzle piece heart one **(A/N That shirt exists look it up). **His face was different, too, his nose bigger then Alec's, lips plumper.

And his eyes weren't blue, they were green.

Why was I comparing him to Alec? Why? He was just a mundie boy, anyway- it didn't matter if he was really attractive, as long as he was slightly..that would make Alec more jealous.

I was such a bitch. Such. A. Bitch.

Oh, well. Alec brought it upon himself.

"Can me go soon? My feet hurt." asked Alec, looking annoyed. Izzy looked conflicted. "Magnus is our ride home, so..."

"We can go. That's cool."

"Can I drive?" Izzy asked as she threw away our garbage and ran up to me and Alec, setting herself in the 4 foot space between us.

"Do you know how to drive?"

"Sort of." she replied, looking sheepish. I sort of felt bad-most 16-year-old mundies knew how to drive.

I rolled my eyes, "You're lucky I'm a warlock or 'sort of' wouldn't be enough."

She lit up, eyes bright, a bounce suddenly in her step.

We walked out to the car and I commented, "It's like one of us died, we're so quiet."

Alec glared at me, saying nothing, and got into the back of my car. Should I sit with him, or Izzy? Him. I don't think I could manage to sit in the front- I'd started to crave his presence like a drug. Just the mere mention of his name was enough to completly distract me from whatever I was doing.

Izzy wasn't to bad of a driver for never having driver's ed, but she wasn't good, either. She swerved a lot, and it took all of my self-control not to help her sometimes. She needed to learn to drive on her own, without magic.

We pulled up at the Institute. Silence.

"Well...bye Magnus. Thanks for the ride...that was fun. Is the trunk open?"

I snapped my fingers, "It is now."

Alec squirmed and unbuckled. I'd never been nuckled, so there was no buckling to do- I had magic. I suppose he didn't trust his sister's driving.

"Bye Magnus." he sounded stiff, mad, even, voice infused with jealously.

So it was a total surprise when he leaned over and touched his lips to mine. I was caught off guard, I felt my breath hitch as he pressed his body into mine for the slightest second.

And then his body was ripped away from mine, and I was getting out of the car, going to the front seat, saying good bye, and driving home. It was all a blur, generalized and unfocused. He kissed me. Why? To mark himself as mine? Then why didn't he do anything at the mall? To tease me? No, Alec didn't seem the type to be a tease at all. What the hell? I couldn't stop thinking about it.

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot & Jayden. BTW-I have a giggly, obnoxious laugh :P lol. There's a your kiss...very chaste but there's more coming...I woke up and was attacked buy plot bunnies(credit to Bookworm24601 for saying that saying lol :P) again (: lol**


	8. Finally

**"Oh Jealousy, look what you've done. You've got a hold of me, you've made me become. Thought I'd never be what I'm running from, This jealousy look what it's done. Oh jealousy, Oh jealousy, look what you've done." -Good Charlotte**

**I have a lot of scenes and song lyrics that match them fairly well planned in my head, I just have to lead up to them ..lol. I just watched How To Train Your Dragon, it's so adorable! lol.**

**Bookworm- I know but I didn't make it up so I'm crediting you lol :P And thanks to Patricia and Kitten too (:**

**btw- I don't know if Gabriel(the name of the blade I used) is actually in TMI, I just know that's a name of an archangel.I'm pretty sure they say Uriel at sometime...so yyeah.**

Alec PoV

For the first time, I didn't feel like I'd been stupid to kiss him. More like I'd been stupid not to do it earlier, not to do it when he was so openly flirting with that ugly boy at the mall with the icky laugh. So, so stupid to ignore him-Magnus isn't one to just take that kind of thing. That was me, that was more how I acted...or so I thought. I guess I was wrong, though, since I kissed him, in the car.

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to stay lip-locked, in the car, blissed out...

Izzy would've seen though. I suppose I'm going to have to tell her soon, anyway...I swore. To the Angel.

I sighed. I was in the weapons room, waiting for Jace. We had to train for a little bit since so far it was a slow day.

"Hey, Alec. You look...tired still." he paused, grinning, "Oh well. Easier to pin you, hm?"

I gritted my teeth, trying to make myself focus on Jace. One of the reasons I'd become so agile (besides my permanent Marks of course..) was that I trained with Jace a lot, and I was always so AWARE of Jace; his presence made my body buzz in response. This time was no exeption, and unlike this morning, he perked me up mroe then coffee.

I struggled to hide it and he said, "So..seraph blade? Knife? Hand to hand? What are you in the mood for?"

I grunted, picking up a Seraph blade from the rack and growling, "Gabriel." Jace grinned lopsiddedly and I felt all my anger and jealousy and frustration build. It knotted and swam around in my chest, pulsing and growing, then shot down my arm...I bit my lip, the feeling of power fluctuating in my body odd and tingly.

"Uriel." I heard Jace say loudly. The name sounded deadly on his tongue, and I bit back growing unease.

Jace jumped at me, and in a moment he had me twisted under him on the ground. His legs were hooked around my upper stomach, one hand holding both of mine above my head, the other holding the blade above my neck.

This is why I have to pay attention. I usually didn't get in this position.

"Wake up, Alec," he teased, hopping up. I did the same. This time we danced around each other for awhile; it really was like a dance, both of us so thin, yet muscled, tense and relaxed at the same time, so strong and able. And we knew each other- we knewe our tells, our blindspots, how long it would take to get tired. We were human, in a way, different then deomns, who had no tells, not in the human way. Weak spots, yes, blindspots, yes, but it was in their creation, not because they had human staminas.

I pushed Jace up against the wall, twisting his blade out of his hand and pinning said hands above his head in the same fashion he had done with me. It was harder to pin the bottom portion of his body when we weren't in the floor, but I had his body locked against mine anyway. Take the seraph blades away and change the scenery, this would be such a different embrace...

I backed up and Jace shrugged me off, looking fake-wounded. "I can't believe you just pinned me."

I grinned and said, "We're even now. Wanna stop training?" Jace huffed and said, "Why? This is fun, my parabatai, you don't think so?"

"I think that I need some food...and not anything Izzy makes."

Jace laugehd in his Jace way, dark and clear, like a wind chime, but deeper.

"Taki's?"

"Sure."

I need a therapist. Not being able to sleep is seriously getting to be a problem. And so is my poor judgement. But I think my poor judgement was partially because of Izzy's egging me on.

I'd gone into her room at 11 or so, flopped down on her bed, and whispered, "We kissed."

"What?" she immediatly locked eyes with me, her intensity making me squirm. But it also felt amazing to let my feelings bubble up and be spoken aloud.

"In the car. When you were getting the stuff from the trunk. I..kissed..him." I spat the words out, slightly ashamed. I didn't like that part of me..I didn't like that I was gay. I wished I was normal. Ish. Normal and Shadowhunter don't quite fit in the same sentence.

She smirked at me and said, "Got jealous, did you?"

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Not usually. But right now, with things concerning Magnus..yes. I know you want to go over there right now. I know part of you wants to be told not to." she hesitated, then said, "But I also know you, big brother, and I know if I tell you not to you probably will..but you'll do it in secret. You'll be even more tired and angsty."

Thanks, Izzy. Rip me up a bit why doncha?

"Go see Magnus. I'll cover for you."

*** (I would end there, but i feel like writing and that's too much of a cliffy for me to write :P)**

Magnus PoV

Chairman Meow was horrible company when you wanted someone else. I sighed, mumbling under my breath, "I know you think I'm incapable of loving a soul like yours...but girl you got style, and that's what I love about you..."

Someone knocked and my door and my heart did something weird in my chest. Who...? It couldn't be Alec. Alec was mad at me...wasn't he?

I snapped the lock open, not caring who it was, really. I could fight soemone else off.

Maybe.

"Magnus?" Alec's voice was tentative, afraid. He was here. In my house. If I said something, mauybe in my room...

I slid off my bed and into the hallway, almost laughing at the way he jumped when I walked over to him and said, "Hey."

I paused, then figured, oh, well. I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn-a little _Nephilim_ shouldn't be making me loose this much sleep-I was amazing, magnificant, powerful..

"Hey.." he responded. he had such a lack of confidence- it was adorable. I was kind of afraid to kiss him...what if I freaked him out? I couldn't resist him much longer...what the hell, why did he even have to SMELL good? He smelled, looked, and stood in such an alluring way...

I couldn't help it. He was so close to the doorway, to the wall...I pushed him up against it. I gasp escaped his lips, lips that were now on mine. There was no one to interupt us, we weren't in a car where it would be broken off in a second. We were in my living room, in my house, and Alec was under me. He was actually kind of short...or I was just tall. That was probably it. But I had to lean down a bit to catch his lips.

One of his hands was in my hair, a finger winding around my spike-less locks, the other on my back. Both of my hands were on his back, desperatly pulling him closer to me. His smell was even stronger as our lips crushed into each other, so close, and I couldn't quite pin it, some kind of cologne maybe? Did it really matter? He smelled good.

And his kiss was so sweet- I've kissed a lot of people. I mean, a lot. And I've come to realize that the inexperienced ones kiss better, sometimes, like Alec was. Going on instinct, not what other people have made you think, made you taste better.

His tongue slipped across my lips and I groaned softly. Point proven. I opened my lips and pushed Alec harder into the wall, delighting in the fact that this was happening. His touch sizzled on my thigh, and I slipped my tongue into his mouth as he moaned. Just barely, but still.

He pulled away, panting, and looked into my eyes. His eyes...were so gorgeous, alsmot more transfixing then the kiss had been, such a sapphire color. I could get lost in those eyes.

He pulled my face back to his, lips slipping against mine...

Alec PoV

And then I hiccuped. Why, why, why that moment? Magnus was...Magnus. Totally fine with his sexuality, and totally fine to push me against the wall and kiss me.

I don't know how I kissed him like that. How I knew what to do. And then I had to hiccup.

I looked up at Magnus, whose arms were still around my thighs.

He was laughing. Laughing! Which heightened my embarrasment..thanks Magnus. Make me feel stupid.

he sobered up and mumbled, "All you have to do is ask." in my ear huskily.

**I almost put in some Jalec to add even more of a plot...but I decided against it ;p. Buut if any of you write Jace/Alec stuff though, tell me I'll read it :P lol. I know a lot of people don't like Jace but I do..he's cool. And even though him & Alec will never happen, isn't that the point of fanfic? lol...Also, I know that in the books Izzy is more hesitant about Alec's sexuality, just because she doesn't know what the clave would think, but whatever...Was that an okay kiss scene? Like I said, I've never had my first kiss, and I'm not a boy lol, so writing this is using imagination x100. **

**Songs used- Jealously by Good Charlotte&She's Got Style by NeverShoutNever**


	9. Research

**Kitten-Thanks for coming back to life :D lol**

**Snow Angel-Haha yeah I like the hiccup thing **

**HidingDani-Yes i hate how there isn't real any scenes with Magnus and Alec(I haven't read CoG yet but I know they kiss there cuz I'm a bad person and I'm on here too much & see spoilers xD lol)**

**Lol Bookworm-Yeah like sometimes I'm like wow Jace..but he's cool :P But I do love Malec more :P**

**Jensonluvsu& Patricia-Thankss you (:**

**-tayl0r. Aww thanks (: That's dedication right there :P **

**Shi-Toyu-It never was really going along with the series lol, but maybe..? Or at least get hurt, or taken to Idris or...something that takes him away from Magnus? idk. :P You didn't sound rude at all (: And lol yeah I like the hiccup thing, i might change the title of the story to that, idk. **

**Thanks you allllll for the sweet reviews, I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday but I had a bad day. I'm really exhausted right now but I wrote this during school, now the challenge is only to type it up.**

(Still Alec PoV)

"Make my hiccups go away." I breathed against Magnus, resting my lips where his neck and shoulder made a gentle curve. His shoulder was warm-I could feel the flush of his skin.

I heard a soft snap of fingers, skin on skin, and my hiccup was caught mid-convulsion.

For a moment we just rested like that, clutching each other, hand on hips, bodies to bodies.

Magnus snuggled his face into my neck, snuggling and nipping at my skin.

I sighed; getting kissed on your neck felt better then you may imagine.

It was a bit intimidating that Magnus knew what he was doing, though, that he knew that kiss would feel good, that he knew just how to shift his hips because I so didn't.

He brought his face back to mine and we crashed our lips back together, but I was kind of tired. My lips felt swollen and my breath wouldn't stop hitching oddly.

"Need a break, Alec?" teased Magnus, pulling his hands from my hips. I immediately wanted the pressure back. I was starting to crave it, starting to let it have power over me.

he grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto the couch besides him. Part of me wanted to lean in and cuddle, part of me wanted to scootch away. part of me was afraid of what cuddling would lead to. The room was small but cozy, too flashy for me, though, everything in bright colors. the couch was pink.

"Do you watch T.V.?"

"No. Not much leisure time, being a Shadowhunter and all... I should probably be getting back soon. it's getting late."

"It's one in the morning."

"Exactly. I'm sure Izzy is waiting up for me, and we both need to sleep."

"She knows you're here?" his brow wrinkled.

"She piratically forced me to come over here when I.." I broke off, biting my lip. Should I tell him? How I hadn't been able to sleep because of him? Because of him? The memory of him?

"You...?" he urged me to continue, and I couldn't resist.

"I was talking to her...about us...and how I wanted to see you...but I thought I shouldn't...and she told me to come here."

"You'd almost think she wants you killed." his smirk spread to his eyes and voice.

Oh, Angel. Now he realized what he had over me.

"Nah, Izzy just...wants me to find someone."

I'd almost said 'love' instead of 'someone'. But this wasn't love, not quite yet. It was lots lusts, some like, and some talking. What I'd seen of Magnus' personality, I liked, though. His confidence wasn't really contagious, but it felt good to be around and in.

Almost like Jace's confidence, really.

Ahhh. No, don't go there. Why do I always compare them? They are two different people. Jace, I really loved.\

Shit. Shit. Stop that train of thought, Alec.

"What are you thinking about?"

I opened my mouth to lie, then shut it. I was a miserable liar.

"Nothing." I finally mumbled, face burning.

"Hm. Well, when you feel like telling me what "nothing" is, let me know." he said nothing more, staring straight at the T.V. with eyes that didn't seem to really be watching.

"Magnus...I have to leave..." I bit my lip, aching tt the thought of being taken away from him.

"Okay." he finally turned away from the T.V.

I whispered(almost inaudibly, piratically mouthing the words), "I don't get a kiss goodbye?"

At first, I thought he hadn't heard me, and I pushed up off the fluffy pink couch(which was quite comfortable, by the way).

Then he was leaning over me, pining me into the soft fabric.

I couldn't help it, and felt blush warm my cheeks, when my breath hitched loudly in my throat. My breaths after that were heavy even though Magnus was hardly touching me, his hands bordering my chest, the rest of hom hovering above me.

he lowered his head agonizingly slowly, lips brushing against mine with the gentlest, briefest pressure. A shiver danced through my body and Magnus grinned.

I brought up a hand to cup his face, he pad of my thumb sliding across his make-up, scar, and blemish free skin.

I pushed myself up, connecting our mouths, and breathed, "I..." as Magnus tried to push me down.

"You have to go. I get it. Okay. Bye."

"Bye Magnus." i pecked his cheek and used all my self control not to bolt like I seemed to do so much."

Magnus PoV

And now my loft was empty. What an odd feeling. Usually, I never felt alone. Charman Meow was enough company, and if he ever faulted in being enough, I had myself. I am usually glorious company, especially for the short amounts of time I really am really alone. I spent most of my time with clients or tending to Meow, organizing parties, listening to music...I didn't have loads of down time.

Alec was...words couldn't even begin to describe. He was delicious. He was so adorable, so worried.

Exile, though, I suppose, can be quite harsh, very harsh indeed. I wouldn't choose for anyone to live and go through what i did when my aprents learned what I was...I was exiled from them, from humans...but I had something waiting for me on the other side. Downworlders. Another world completely.

Alec, on the other hand, would have close to nothing. Maybe some other exiles, but Downworlders returned the dislike for Shadowhunters since the Nephilim insisted upon being such asses to us, so that's a no.

He'd have me, I guess, but he'd loose his family. I've been there, done that, and wouldn't wish it upon anyone, especially not precious, fragile Alec.

Maybe I should research this all? Or go talk to the Clave?

No. talking to the Clave was out of the question, I couldn't do that.

Research. That was what needed to be done.

**Hope you enjoyed it!(: I know the complete plot now so I should be able to get a chapter up a day for sure (: **


	10. A Trip

**Bookworm-It's a welcome distraction, lol, I just have insomnia issues so I'm tired a lot :P keep up the fantabulous reviews XD lol (: Idk if you're in a different time zone then me but I swear you always review fastt (:**

**Thanks everyone else as well for saying it's cute :D i try. (:**

Alec PoV

I went straight to my room. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone; especially not Izzy. I shut my door, happy dancing in my mind tah t ihad successfully avoided her.

I flicked the light switch and almost screamed. There was Izzy, sitting on my bed.

"Izzy. I am tired. We can talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Nope. I covered for you when mom and dad came in here and wanted to know where you were. Sit your butt down, Alexander Lightwood, and tell me what happened."

"I hate you Izzy." I flopped down onto my bed beside her and Izzy snuggledup to me, laying her head on my chest.

"Talk, Alec."

"Don't get comfy, Izzy. Nothing big happened. Me just made out."

She squealed, "Well?"

"Well, what? I'm not going to tell you how it was..."

"Why?" she demanded, grinning like an idiot. I wondered if she thought I'd be the one she could finally talk to about boys and relationships, the sister she never had. That made me feel bad all of the sudden, the thought that she was so alone, the only girl.

"Izzy...not now..."

"Just say it, Alec. Is Magnus good at kissing?"

"Very." I whispered, and she seemed satisfied because she said, "Fine, I'll leave you alone. Goodnight, Alec. I love you."

"Alec. Alec. Wake up. Alec!" I groaned, curling away from my mom's voice and burying my head in the pillows. It was too bright, too, too bright, I was so so tired...

"Alec. We are going to Idris. You need to be ready in the next hour."

"What?" The over my brain and body wasn't lifted quite yet.

"We. Are. Going. To. Idris."

"Why?" I turned toawrd my mother and was relieved not to see even more stress on her face, but to see light in her eyes.

"There was a new Shadowhunter baby born, an old friend of mine's, and I want to see her."

"Oh. Okay. I'll be ready."

Mom smiled and sat up from my bed, saying, "Now here comes the big challenge..waking Jace up." I snorted, knowing that was all too true.

I surveyed my room, thinking of what to bring. We'd probably take a portal, so I wouldn't need time fillers for the trip there like mundanes. After a moment of hesitation, I grabbed a week's worth of clothes, a mundie book Clary had told me to read, the MP3 player Clary and put the CDs(and some music I liked before) on, and a knife. Dad had surely gotten seraph blades ready for us, so I didn't have to worry about that...

I knew something was up with Izzy the moment I saw her. There was something in her eyes-some distress she was trying very hard to hide.

"Ma, where is the portal we are going to?"

"At a warlock's house...Magnus Bane is his name. We went to a party of his am onth or so back, do you remember? That was the night we couldn't find Alec for a moment." she laughed, totally unaware to the situatio. Totally unaware of the way my heart clenched at the name-for two different reasons. We;d have to act like strangers. And then, the other feelings Magnus's name sparked...

Izzy shot me a look-she'd known as soon as the portal was mentioned, I assumed. Smart Izzy. This was going ot be awkward.

"Ready, kids?" asked my dad, walking into the room with a seraph blade for all of us. I took mine numbly.

Izzy and Jace argued the whole way down, and today I couldn't even find humor in it. I was tired, for one, and it was wearing on me, my lack of sleep was. That was my excuse, at least, the lie I told Mom and Dad and jace when they commented that I was being even more disengaged then my usual quiet self.

We arrived at Magnus's house, and during the pause where everyone just stared at his door, I wanted so badly to reach out and knock, to be the first one walking through Magnus's threshold and into his loft.

To be the first one to lay eyes on his gorgeousness.

But I wasn't. I was the last, because I'd walked here trailing behind everyone else.

"Hello, Nephilim." greeted Magnus cheerily, but with an obvious "ew" connotated in the word Nephilim.

I felt more then saw his eyes rake over my body and take me in. I wanted so badly to pounce him, or at least freaking hug him, so it was close to impossible to keep my eyes off of him. He was so attractive, especially since I knew what was under all the glitter, make-up, and spiked hair. Not that the hair was too bad spiked...

"Okay, the portal is ready. It's in my bedroom, just come with me this way..." My cheeks flamed red and I bit my lip, glaring at Magnus. Could you move portals? Had he moved it in there just to see my cheeks redden? I almost wondered..

"Kay, let's go. Thank you, Magnus, we'll pay you when we get back, okay? Izzy, Jace, Alec, hold onto each other please."

"Moomm-," moaned Jace and she cut him off

"Hush. It makes me feel better."

Izzy giggled at our mom's overprotectivness but grabbed my hand, then Jace's, lacing our fingers together. her hand was o warm and sure, it helped unknot my embarrasment a little bit. Thankfully.

We stepped through the portal and I pictured Idris in my mind's eye, the absolute beauty and serenity of it, the way it felt like HOME in the way nothing else did. I turned back, ever so slightly, and saw Magnus grinned at me, his yellow eyes making him look very feline.

Magnus PoV

Research was not my forte. Ugh. I couldn't sit on the computer for more then 20 or 30 minures at a time, and it was hard to find real Shadownhunter information. I suppose I could go to the Institute now that the Lightwoods were gone, maybe the other Shadownhunters wouldn't find it as intrisve and suspicious.

I had found a few cases, but from what I read, it was highly frowned upon, I dare say taboo,but not technicallty illegal. but you better be squeaky clean besides that.

And you better not marry. That, like marying a mundane, was Bad. But we couldn't get married, anyway, we were both boys, Gay. I had a party planned for later today and planned ot try and bring up the topic with a group of very New Age werewolves to see if they knew anything. They seemed of the ilk to know about those kinds of subjects, they were very open to odd things. One of them, in fact, was gay, and I had helped him open up to it. So I had confidence that he, if no one else, would talk to me.

**Sorry that's all for now! My living room where the computer is is so cold! lol. Hope you enjoyed (: ALSO If you all haven't you should read Bookworm24601's story it's City of Bones from Alec's point of view and it's amazingg (:**


	11. Camdyn, Babies, and Benji

**ALSO big thanks to anyone who has favorited and/or put this under their alerts (: **

**Sorry if this doesn't match up with CoG description og Idris ..see below why...this is going to ger a little more angsty, so um...yeah, lol, but it's going to end sweet...I totally made up Lilly, Camdyn, Jasmine, Daime, Benji, but all rights go to Cassandra Clare !(:**

**Don't you all think haylay Williams would make a BRILLIANT Clary? Dunno if she acts though...**

**HidingDani-I want to read it so so so so bad but my sister is one of those people who barly reads and is sitting at the kitchen table right now, reading manga...off of her iPod. And she only has like 50 pages of CoG left. -.- And thanks (:**

**Bookworm-That is so weird that you say that about the Milky Ways because I just got a Milky Way from someone at school!:P And thanks you lol**

**Kitten- it's going to get a little worse before it gets better, but it will get better (: if it makes you feel any better, the last chap will be a songfic and it's an Elton John songs..message me if you can guess ;P**

**Shi-Toyu-hmm from the "waggle eyebrows" thing, I;d think you already knew what I was goign to write before I did :P**

**jensonluvsyou-Why thank you (:**

Alec PoV

I was almost afraid for a moment that I would tumble straight back into Magnus's loft, since my mind hadn't been thinking of only Idris, but I landed on the ground, my hand still in Isabelle's. The impact hurt a bit, my ankles straining a little. I pulled my hand free from Izzy's and heard my mom say, "This way, kids," but my mind wasn't completly there. Now that I didn't have to think of Idris, my thoughts rubber-band snapped back to Magnus. I saw his eyes as I'd stepped through the portal, beckoning to me, tempting me, teasing me. All I would've had to do was turn around and I would've been with Magnus.

But of course, it wouldn't have been that simple. I would've had to break contact, forcefully, with Izzy. There would be consequences later- I was old enough to be expected to know how to get through a portal. And even if it weren't for the fact that this was an important thing to mom and the others could possibly find out I was gay, Izzy would interrogate me like crazy.

I pulled out of my thoughts without really meaning to, enraptured by the overwhelming sense of home, and the beauty. Idris was gorgeous, exempted from the global chaos of the rest of the mundie world. Mundies had destroyed so much only out of ignorance, but much of it was stupidity...

Izzy PoV

Alec was obviously a bit lost in thought. I hoped, for his sake, that Mom, Dad, and Jace hadn't seen the way him and Magnus looked at each other. It wasn't the look strangers gave each other, nor was it a look of friendship. There was something more there, something delicate, like they were holding back a part of themselves.

We were walking up a stone walkway now, and I noted the lillies spilling out of flower pots. Then it suddenly registered in my mind.

"We are going to see Lilly?" I barly kept the screech out of my voice, terror flooding me. I saw Alec's face pale even more then it already was and Jace's lips twist into a grin.

Lilly was an old friend of mom's who lived in Idris, and we often stayed at her house when we were in Idris. She had a son, Camdyn, who was 15, and he was worse then a demon. When he was little it almost seemed like accidents, the way he broke everything, but it was soon easy to see it was on purpose. After going to reform when he was 11, he came back different...sneakier. Surreptitious. And it was terrible, because he would torment me and Alec and his mom wouldn't notice I thing. Jace, somehow, had managed to avoid Cam's wrath; whether it was his nickname for him(Tornado) or the fact that the first time Cam had cut off a lock of my hair(Jace was 11, Cam and I were 9), Jace had slammed him against the wall and squeezed his upper arms so hard he almost left bruises while he told him if he ever touched me again he'd get worse then bruises. He whispered something else in his ear, too, and I never knew what it was, but I knew Jace believed in fighting with words so it was probably something awful. That was one of the few times I'd really seen Jace so mad and angry, protecting me, his little sister. I knew he thought of me that way, and even though he had been so mad, that was one of only times I'd seen him so blatantly defend me.

"Yes, Isabelle, I'm sure you can tolerate Camdyn for a couple of days. Anyway, there will be an adorable baby to keep you distracted."

'How do you know he will be adorable?" I heard Jace mutter. his comment got a giggle from Alec and a sharp eye from Mom as Dad knocked on the door.

Lilly opened it, her face bright and happy as per usual. It was probably also due to the new baby-women seemed to glow after they'd had children.

"Maryse. It's so good to see you." She gave my mom and firm hug, then Dad, saying, "Robert. It's been so long."

"Isabelle! You're such a gorgeous young lady." I wanted to disagree with her- I was wearing a black fanning skirt with a neon green belt and a plain black t-shirt. But I just said, "Thanks, Lilly. You don't look so bad yourself." she laughed, saying, "I feel so fat, even though I know I'm not really." I smiled, walking past her and letting Jace and Alec say their hellos.

Cam was standing right there beyond Lilly, grinning at me evilly. "Let the torment begin." I growled. His grin widened and he said, "Oh, yes, Isabelle Lightwood. Let the fun begin." I wanted to smack him so bad that my hand twitched.

"Hey, Tornado."

"Hey dumbass. And Alec."

Alec nodded at him and I noticed Cam's brown eyes didn't leave Alec. They strayed on him for a moment, long enough for his dark, thick bangs to gather in his eyes, and then Alec met his gaze and he looked away. What was with that?

Just then Daime, Cam's father, walked in holding a squealing baby. My curiousity and hatred for Cam melted away when I saw it.

She was so small, swathed in pink blankets, pink voice poking out.

"Aw! Aren't you adorable? Yesh you are, yesh you are." I cooed, wanting to laugh at myself. I'd never really been around babies. I opened my mouth to ask what her name was at the same time my Dad said, "What's her name?" and appeared at my side.

"Jasmine." Daime declared happily.

I let her wrap her small fingers around mine and said, "That's cute."

"How old is she?" asked Alec, curiosity in his eyes. He hadn't seen a baby since I'd been born, and I doubted he remembered that.

"Two weeks."

Alec's eyes bulged and I couldn't help but giggle at his expression.

She _was_ very tiny, though, it seemed hard to imagine things that young, hard to think that one day this small child would be out kicking demon ass.

"She needs to sleep, now, so we should probably let her do that and not crowd her...Maryse, do you want to hold her?"

"Of course, Daime, why else would I have made this trip with so little planning?" he grinned and slipped his arms away from Jasmine's torso, setting her into Mom's arms, and then completly letting go of his baby.

"You kids can go get something to eat if you like, there's snacks in the kitchen, Cam will show you."

"He'd be more likely to poison us." Alec mumbled under his breath, a dark look on his face.

We walked into the kitchen and sat down on swivel chairs like the kind you have in bars, the three of us on one side and Cam on the other.

He grabbed some Chex Mix and a bag of Doritos, tossed them onto the counter, and said, "What have y'all been up to?", all the while having his eyes on Alec, who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Jace raised a perfect eyebrow at me, seemingly saying, "Do you see this?" I nodded my head, just barly, but enough to make Jace turn away.

"You know. Normal Shadowhunter stuff. You?" _And Alec's having a 'thing'. With a warlock. Oh, and Jace is in love with his sister. _I supressed a laugh at the idea of Cam's reaction to that.

"Same, I guess. Bored out of my mind. I can't wait to be living on on my own."

"So you can wreck havoc everywhere you go without Mommy breathing down your shoulder?" asked Jace nonchalantly, like it was a normal question.

Cam grinned and I shuddered at the way they spoke so easily of Cam's destructive nature. Angel, they were so weird.

(A/N I would end there but I feel like writing more so yay for long chapters and many PoV's:D)

Magnus PoV

The party was happening. I'd invited a mixture of werewolves, faeries, and warlocks. There were maybe a few guests I didn't know about, since I was very spacey with my invitations. I was wearing a black and white baseball tee-sleeved shirt that sparkled, a metellic looking silver leather jacket, tight black skinney jeans, three or four belts, 6 necklaces varying from "rainbow pride" to a heart with a dagger through it. My feet were shoved inside leather boots that only barely covered my ankles. My hair was spiked, face covered in make-up, and of course, coated in glitter. the party had been going on for a half hour, now the challenge was finding the werewolves, particularly Benji.

Strangely enough, after 10 or so minutes of walking around and not really searching, just making sure everyone was good and happy and fed, Benji found me.

"Magnus!" and arm when around my back as he pulled me into a hug. Even for a werewolf that ran with such strange and New Age other vampires, he was quite affectionate, always the first to hug instead of shake a hand. He could make a friend of anyone, long as they didn't hit a nerve first.

"Benji. Hello. I was hoping I'd get a chance to talk to you."

A perfeect eyebrow arched as he said, "Really, now? About what?" His shaggy hair curled all over his face in a truly adorable way, his brown eyes very pretty but not...not Alec.

Gah.

"Realtionships with the Nephilim."

His eyebrow arched even higher, if that was possible, "Maybe it's best to discuss this somewhere a little more private?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

We walked into my bedroom and Benji sat down on the love seat, curling his body up like I knew he liked to. I sat at the edge of the bed and decided just to dive into what I wanted to know, "Are relationships with the Nephilim completly prohibited?"

He smirked, "Why, have your eyes on someone? I haven't seen the Shadowhunters around here too much but one of them has gorgeous black eyes...

I could tell my face was in check, but I couldn't be so sure about the eyes. My eyes gave me away at times.

"Are you _with_ him?" demanded Benji, a girlish tint to his voice, and I realized how, if you looked at him and his mannerisms, you could tell he was gay. He had on a fitted Hollister t-shirt, bright blue skinnys, and lots of rings and bangles.

"Is it? Completly prohibited?"

"It's almost like being gay, from what I know. It's pretty much a no-no, but you won't really get reprimanded unless you, say, try and get married. Which I suppose you couldn't do anyway if it's a boy.." he added as an after thought. his words summed up what I'd found in my research and little more.

"But would Alec be reprimanded?"

"Alec? That's a pretty name," he mumbled absently, then continued, "That just depends on who his parents are, how they feel, if the Clave is having a good day or a bad one...and if Alec is a good boy, if you're a good boy...the worse they could do is exile him, and that would only be if he refused to give you up after being reprimanded."

Would Alec give me up? Could I bear to put Alec in that position? Family or a realtionship. Maybe even...love...

"I really like him, Benji. It bothers me. The fact that he has to sneak out in the morning to come see me because he's afraid of what his parents would do bothers me."

"The fact that Downworlders and Nephilim can't realize that they are both...realtively human bothers me."

I nodded absently and murmered, "I don't know what to do."

**Note that I am aware I show a soft side of Magnus. It's how the story goes, lol, deal with it. Hope you like this chapter, it's longish (:**


	12. Blue Eyes

**Shi-Toyu...Camdyn? Yes he's going to have...something...to do with the plot :P lol**

**Bookworm: O.o Our neighbor just gave us cookies...not gingerbread but still xD (: Being on the virtual candies ! XD lol &&I hope you are the oly that notices I accidently uploaded that chapter twice...xP it was an accident, I uploaded the wrong document lol**

**QuestionmarksandCommas- DO you really want the answer to that? xP like I said to Kitten, this is going to end in an Elton John song fic, if you can figure it out, message me, and that will probably answer your question if you guess right :P**

**I debated whether or not to go into Jace's PoV and decided against it; I'm already not nailing his sarcasm well. Hope it's otay that this is all Alec.**

Alec PoV

Lily had a really big house, so me, Jace, and Izzy all had seperate guest rooms. I picked the smallest one because A) I didn't need a huuge room and b) there was a cord very close to the bed, so I could charge my phone and text Magnus at the same time.

Then Camdyn walked in. Shit.

"Whatdya want? I demanded, shoving my phone under my belly(it was rainbow, thanks to Magnus, and he'd written "Magnus Was Here" across the back in Sharpie).

"I can't just want to talk to you?"

"You gave me bruises when we were just kids. You cut Izzy's hair. You used to laugh when your cat mauled mice."

Cam smirked and snickered. "I won't mess with you anymore."

My heart freaked, as did my head. Whether it was his words, or intuition, or both, I knew something was coming.

He flopped onto my bed, sitting so his arms were near my ass. _ It doesn't matter, Alec, it doesn't matter, stop thinking about it, you're the only one feeling the proximity..._

"I don't remember your eyes being so blue. Where your eeys always that blue?" he asked, almost to himself, and I squirmed.

"Yeah, they've always been this shade..."

"Hm." he said, his face and eyes giving anyway nothing of what he was thinking. His eyes were still locked on me in a way I really didn't like and was starting to get very uncomfortable under.

"Shadowhunting has done wonders for you, you don't seem as scrawny as you used to be."

"Hasn't done as much for you, hm, 'cause you're just as disgusting as you used to be." said Jace's voice from the doorway . I jumped, as though I'd been caught doing something I shouldn't have been. "Leave Alec alone, Tornado."

"I-" Jace looked at him with something in his eyes. He knew something about Cam, some secret that was Cam's and Cam's alone. ANd that gave him power. Jace liked power.

Cam looked like he wanted to bite Jace as he walked by, but he kept to himself.

"Thanks, Jace." I mumbled.

"Any chance to mess with Tornado." he smirked and turned around, shutting the door and leaving me alone.

My phone buzzed against my belly and I pulled it out from under myself.

_Magnus:How's Idris?_

_Alec:Awful, we are with one of mom's friends and she has a son I hate even more now then I did years ago._

_Magnus:Y?_

_Alec:He's a demon with a pretty face to hide it. He's torchured me and Izzy since he was 7. _

_Magnus:..? How so_

_Alec:Cutting Izzy's hair, verbal abusing us, almost leaving bruises...that kind of thing._

_Magnus:Do you need me to do some ass kicking?_

_Alec:Jace has that under control, I think. He doesn't bother Jace_

_Magnus:Y?_

_Alec:idk...Jace knows soemthing he shouldn't, I think._

_Magnus:Weird_

_Alec:Very. And he keeps staring at me and complimenting me._ I wrote hesitantly, wanting to tell Magnus what was setting me on edge, but at the same time afraid of his reaction.

_Magnus: Ass kicking must be done. No one flirts with my bitch_. I almost laughed. Flirting?

_Alec:Flirting? No I think he's just..being creepy.._

_Magnus:What exactly did he say to you? I Know flirting._

_Alec:He asked it my eyes had always been the same shade of blue that they were & said shadowhuntin had been good 4 my body, tht i wasn't as scrawny& he stares. & he sat down on my bed_

_Magnus:Grr._

_Alec:Camdyn is not gay, no way._

_Magnus:Why, cuz he doesn't act like it? neither do you._

I paused for a moment. This was true, very true. I was used to Magnus being my poster-boy for gay(bi, whatever)ness.

_Alec:..._

_Magnus:Is he cute?_

_Alec:No!_

_Magnus:Calm down. U said he had a pretty face_

_Alec:Figurativly_

_Magnus:Sure_

_Alec:r u..jealous?_

_Magnus:What? No. Course not, ik you'd never do something like kiss another boy, u r too uncomfortable with yourself_

That stung. Badly.

_Alec:Thanks._

_Magnus:I take it there was sarcasm there?_

_Alec:Lots of it_

_Magnus:Sorry_

_Alec:It's fine_

_Alec:What have u been ^ _**(A/N ^ = up) **_to?  
Magnus:Party. Nothing much else. It was the same old same old, no fights, but lots of drinks and bad faerie bands_

_Alec:The usual_

_Magnus:*smile* yes. i have to go now. Client. :X_

_Alec: X:?_

_Magnus:it's a kissy face. _

_Alec: (: :X Bye Magnus_

_Magnus:Bye Blue Eyes ;P_

Blue Eyes. That was new. I liked that..a little too much. That and the kissy face...were me and Magnus a _thing_? I wanted to be, but...I wasn't sure

I didn't quite remember falling asleep. I faintly remembered slipping my phone onto the bedside table and hesitantly picking up my iPod to listen to a bit of the music. But nothing really after that. I dreamt of Magnus; nothing hot really, just his face. Just him.

Cam woke me up, like the ass he was, by jumping on my bed.

"Get up, Blue Eyes!"

"Huh?" I'd heard him damn well but was confused to where he'd gotten the name.

"Blue Eyes. I read your texts; that's what your boyfriend calls you."

"Fuck. You." I growled, low and canine, in my throat. "If you tell a soul..."

"You'll what?" he looked delighted in watching me squirm.

"I'll get Jace on you." was the best I could do. He was right in not being afraid of me; I wan't good with words, nor was I as vindicitive as him.

"You think I'm afraid of Jace?"

"If you aren't, then why do you submit to him?"

Cam's face twisted into a expression of extreme disgust as he said, "Jace doesn't scare me."

"But does whatever secret he knows about you scare you?" I retorted, angry and scared. No, not scared. Terrified.

"You have nothing against me but hollow assumptions, Alexander." he snarled.

"Jace will tell your secret if you tell mine."

He opened his mouth, then shut it. A slight pause before he said, "Breakfast is ready." he turned around, and as he left, through over his shoulder, "We have more in common then you think, Alec."

I walked out in just my jammies, meeting Izzy's questioning stare. "Did you hear that?" I mumbled, blushing.

"I heard you guys talking."

"I'll tell you after we eat."

She nodded as Jace came up behind us, smiling and looking cocky as usual.

Breakfast passed agonizingly slowly, and I wanted to scream the entire time. I hated Cam. With a passion.

"Hey, Ma, I think Alec and I are going to go for a walk."

"Why, does he need time to digest the delicious food and try to explain to you how much dofferent it is then your?" asked Jace innocently, throwing Izzy a sugar-spice-and-everything-nice smile.

"No," she glared, "We just want some air. By ourselves." she added when Camdyn began to open his mouth.

"Okay. Be back in an hour or so?" Mom suggested/told us/asked.

"Yeah." we hugged our parents then darted out the door as quickly as we could.

**I am pretty much being kicked off of the computer by my Mom because she wants to put Christmas music on her iPod so this is all for now. Hope you like it (:**


	13. Everything Is Smart When You're Drunk

**I switch around PoV's a lot this chapter..**

**Bookworm-Did you by any chance get tghe plot bunnies thing from whitereflections12? i just noticed she says that alot lol..And yes to your message review, pretty much...**

**SnowAngel, Dani, and jensonluvsu -(: Thanks for the reviewss, I think you;re right about hwere it's going...:P**

**Haven't said this in awhile-I own nothing except the characters I made up and the plot. Cassandra Clare's amazingness owns the rest :D**

Magnus PoV (This is taking place at about 5 in the morning or so, after restless attempts at sleep)

I couldn't believe there was some other boy flirting with Alec. At least Alec was fairly oblivious to it, or more, Alec noticed, but he was inexperienced and couldn't place flirting. I'd wanted to hurt Alec when I made the comment about him being a wuss about his sexuality, but now I realized how stupid and counterproductive that had been to say to sweet, sensitive little Alec.

Ugh.

I wrapped an arm around Chairman Meow, his warm fluffy fur gently under my fingers.

I needed something to help me unwind a bit. Wine? Whiskey? Maybe. Vodka, Jack's, Margarita...nah. I needed something warlock brewed, something that would really calm my nerves.

I let my eyes slip shut, trying to remeber if I had anything left over from the last time I paid Andie a visit. She brewed some very nice stuff that tasted like a fruity, girly drink, but was much stronger then human liquor. I really should go see her again, it had been quite a long time...

I opened my cabinet and smiled-I had a whole unopened bottle.

I poured some into a medium sized glass, watching the raspberry colored liquid slosh against the transparent glass. I filled it up the the brim- I wanted to get flat-out wasted, not tipsy or buzzed, but wasted. Who cares? My closest appointment was at 6 tomorrow night-plenty of time to wash off any hangover I happened to acquire. I needed to take an edge off-after today, I was fairly booked in terms of clients. Faeries complaining that their potions were loosing potency, pixies and phokas asking for love potions(don't exist, only infatuation potions do), werewolves asking for charms to dull their receiving of the full moon(I was still working on that) and vampires wishing for blood.

The fruity strawberry taste engulfed my taste buds. I lay back onto the couch, picked up Chairman Meow, and turned the T.V. on, waiting for the warlock alcohol to set in like morphine.

Alec PoV

"Thanks, Izzy." I mumbled once we were out of the house and out of any possible eavesdropping earshot. Thank the Angel it was warm here, because I didn't bring my jacket or anything. The warm air licked at my skin and I relaxed the tiniest bit.

"For what?"

"For getting us out. I couldn't breath another second with Cam on my back every moment."

"Yeah, what the hell is up with that?"

I relayed our conversation from the morning and Izzy looked like she was going to laugh.

"What?" I demanded, annoyed at the world by this point.

"You're so naive."

"How?" I exclaimed.

She chuckled and I bit my bit, hard, exasperated but fighting not to show it.

"Alec," she mumbled, "Cam likes you. Maybe in a creepy, twisted, tie-you-to-a-bed-post-naked-and-shave-the-hair-all-off-of-your-head kinda way, but he likes you."

I blinked at her, not knowing quite what to say to that comment.

She rolled her eyes, "Alec! You know what I mean. That Cam has a sick, twisted mind, but he likes you...or at least, your body...He's flirting."

"Why does everyone keep saying he's flirting?"

"Who else have you told?"

"Magnus."

Her eyes widened in their sockets, "You told Magnus?" she stopped walked and spun around to look at me. I noticed this forest place was mostly covered in evergreens. Weird.

"Why not?" I implored, defensive.

"Alec! You probably upset him."

"Nope," I murmured, the memory stinging, "he said he knew I didn't have the guts to kiss another boy anyway."

Izzy pursed her lips and said, "Well, Magnus aside, Cam is a creep. Do you like him?"

I felt my nose wrinkle immediately as I said, "No. Hell no."

Izzy's eyes relaxed and her step began to match mine.

"Good. 'Cause like I said, Cam has..."

"Issues. I know, Izzy."

"Do you miss Magnus?" she asked after a silence. She couldn't seem to let in sounds of the world settle over us-not that I particularly wanted her too. The talking was a distraction.

I always miss magnus, as of late." Izzy smiled.

If only this was a smiling situation.

Magnus PoV (8 a.m. or so, while Alec is walking with Izzy, Magnus will be arriving in Idris and talking to the Clave.

Wasted being wasted. I was on a high and loving it. I couldn't stop thinking about Alec, yet I didn't give a fuck. His blue eyes were tantalizing my thoughts.

What Benji had said was torcurhing me as well. I wanted to know what would be of me and Alec and I wanted to know now. At this very moment. But how? The Clave, I suppose, would be able to tell me. Maybe next time Alec's family goes for a meeting. maybe they're at a meeting now..? How old is Alec? 17 or 18? 19? Is he old enough for Clave meetings? I know Isabelle isn't. I didn't really know much about Alec-not as much as if he freely came over and wasn't afraid to text me when his parents were around. Or when jace was around. Isabelle...Isabelle knew his secret, our secret, and was more then okay with it, but she seemed very in his business about it. Poor Alec.

But maybe I could go talk to the Clave. Me, the warlock. Hmm. I quite like that idea. And while I'm in Idris, I can tell Alec what they say...

I detatched Chairman meow from my leg and flexed my finger's warming up the blue sparks until I could make a portal.

Alec PoV

My stomach flipped oddly in my stomach and I wondered why. Something I'd ate, maybe? Was my stomach not used to good cooking?

"How long has it been since..?"

"Since we first kissed or since we..."

"Since you made out." She grinned as I wriggled at her word choice.

"Uhm.." I paused to count exactly. "A week and a day."

She smiled, "Hm."

"Hm?"

"Just hm." she replied, irritating me to no end.

"We should go back soon...what time is it?"

I flinched internally and looked at my phone. Izzy snatched it up before I could even look at the time display.

Is your phone the colors I think it is? Or are my eyes having a spaz attack?

"That depends, what colors do you see my phone as?" my face was hot, hot, burning red, knowing the next words before she said them.

"Rainbow!"

I nodded and she started giggling. loudly.

"What?" I feigned incompetence, wishing I could deny the colors plainly on my phone.

''You aren't worried mom and dad will see this?

''I have a case in my room so that I can cover it."

She giggles again.

"Shut up, Izzy.'

"No, I don't think I will."

"What's so funny?" My phone is rainbow. No biggie."

"This is coming from the boy who loves black, only black, and whose cheeks and neck are currently bright red. And," she added, "What's funny is that you, my dear, are becoming Magnus's bitch.

"Am not!"

"Are too. Deal with it,"

"Not."

"Whatever."


	14. Repercussions

**Imogine-thanks ya for all that, I have a longer reply but ur messaging is blocked and I don't want to type it all here..**

**Thank you Kitten for always commenting on this pretty fast and appriciating what little humor I have :P**

**I'd like to point out that my email put emails from my school into my junk folder, but not my fanficiton&wattpad emails..lol xD**

**Alec's PoV and Magnus's will be happening simultaneously until they merge, which will be an obvious point..Since this doesn't fit with the series at all let's just say it's my AU to the Malec portion of the series...sorry if you don't like the reactions or descriptions, I haven't read CoG cuz of my sister so yeah... **

**Jensonluvsu-:D thanks**

**Bookworm-Yay *gives you some candddyyy whatever kind you want (: * lol, and yes, poor Alec :P**

**I own nothing but Molly and other characters I've made up**

Magnus PoV

I flounced outside of the Clave doors, nerves beginning to bite through my haze. What should I say? Maybe I should just wing it. Sure. Yea, that sounded good.

I rapped on the door and was happy to see, once it was open, that a Clave meeting was in progress. I could see Maryse and Robert's in the background, their faces screwed up in confusion along with the other's.

"I..I have something to ask the Clave." I was very aware of the slur in my words and tried to fight it down."

"He's drunk." I heard the whispered words ripple through the room. "He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Let's hear him out," shrugged another Clave member, "why not?

The Shadowhunter that had opened the door sighed, moving away from the door and gesturing me inside.

"What do you have to say, Downworlder?" Even in my intoxication, I could feel the weight of the world "Downworlder" like it was something he'd found on the bottom of his shoe.

"I wanted to ask what the Clave thinks about Downworlders having relationships with Nephilim."

There were snickers all around the room; the man who'd opened the door for me's lip curled back in disgust. I was quickly loosing the fight with my slur and equilibrium.

"Don't you dare lead any Shadowhunters astray, High Warlock of Brooklyn, or there will be consequences.

The words, "What if I already have?" fought the word, "Fine." And escaped my mouth first, earning sharp breath intakes from around the room.

"We'd have to speak with the girl's family. If they were okay with it, it's a possibility you could date. But never marry. So there is really no point in Shadowhunter relationships with Downworlders, since they will never lead to real, true, completely giving each other over expressions of love.

"Why?" I demanded with less aggression then I would've normally exerted since I was wasted.

"Downworlders are not people, warlock, you are part demon, don't forget." She spat out "demon" regarding me with an abhorred look plastered on her face. that expression made her hideous; she would look so much more pretty when she smiled, her blonde hair buttery and warm, but the way the lines pulled on her face was all wrong.

"So? I'm just as sentient as you. I've lived longer, seen more, and understand more then anyone in this room."

My slur and haze were starting to vaporize, a hangover induced headache starting to pound at my temples. I was starting to remember something Andy said about the alcohol wearing off really fast once it started.

Something was beginning to eat at my stomach, a sick, sick, twisted feeling that I was doing something intensely inane that I would regret later. But why? Alec and I...maybe we could be something. That's why I was here, right? To see if I could convince the Clave that there was such thing as healthy attraction between Nephilim and Downworlders? Why had I come? I wondered now, seeing the looks everyone was giving me.

"What's her name, Magnus?" asked a voice I could've sworn belonged to Alec's dad. Robert was his name, i think. Something like that. I bit my lip. It wasn't like I could dig myself much deeper then I already was.

"It's a him."

Maryse PoV-

The gasps around the room from Magnus's steadily less slurred words reminded me of school children hearing the latest gossip..stupid. Yet I couldn't help also suck in my breath in awe.

"He's wasted. He doesn't know what he's saying." I heard Molly whisper. Others nodded, but the Inquisitor pushed him, "Okay, what's _his_ name? Not that it matter's, but we'll need to separate you from him immediately. We don't want you tainting our young."

That was awful harsh...I thought idly, enrapturing by the scene unfurling before me.

Magnus's cat eyes caught mine in a way that seemed thoroughly sober. He looked down at his feet and muttered something.

My stomach clamped with anticipation, wonder. Was it someone I knew? A son of a member of the Clave, or someone more low-ranking? I wasn't even aware anyone had gay children.

"What was that? The inquisitor prodded, her voice rude."

"I said," his voice raised in volume, loosing all shake and slur, "Alexander Lightwood"

I almost fainted. Honestly. His words sunk in and I wanted to throw up. Alec is..gay. Alec is ...seeing a Downworlder. I tried to force calm upon myself even though every eye in the room was dancing between Robert and I.

"Maryse..I'm so sorry..."Molly whispered in my ear, and I shuddered, unable to form a complete sentence.

"But...Alec...he never t-"

"Why didn't he tell us?" asked Robert, gaining his composure before me and reading my mind.

A glittery eyebrow arched and he siad, "Really, Robert? Do you not see the reactions of those around you? The repulsion?"

"But we're his parents."

So? I thought to myself. I'm dumbfounded...I can barley form a coherent thought..

"And? My dad tried to drown me when they found out what I was. Anyway," he paused, "Look at your wife. She hasn't said a word."

"Not because I disapprove, Magnus, because..."

"She doesn't know what to say." Robert supplied. I wanted to hug him, to hold him. It was amazing that even though we were pulling apart, he could still finish my sentences on those rare occasions I had a lost for words. We hadn't spent much intimate, quality time together since Izzy was a baby-she needed our 24/7 attention, and now she didn't; now she was a fierce, independent young lady, and Alec was independent too, even if most of it was a mask.

"Yes, I never suspected that a son of mine would be gay, let alone seeing a Downworlder.."

"Be thankful I'm not a faerie, werewolf, or vampire or Alec probably wouldn't be completely human anymore." Magnus spat.

"Thankful? This is hardly a "thankful" situation." hissed Molly.

I tried to shoot her a look, The Look that would silence even Jace, but it didn't seem to want to form itself on my face.

"Are you okay with that, Maryse? Robert? Alec and I, that is." he looked more nervous now, and had walked close enough to me that I could smell demon liquor laced with something fruity on his breath. He looked so sincere, yet still slightly cocky. Like he was on top of the world, even though at the moment, he sooo wasn't...maybe it was the alcohol.

"Of course they're not!" exclaimed Molly, her outburst surprising me a bit.

"I wasn't talking to you," he hissed, muttering something in an arcane language, rolling his eyes a bit.

SHe glanced at him and shot back, "I'm sure I can speak for everyone here when I say _homosexual Downworlder_ romantic relationships are disgusting." She spit the last word out like it was dirt in her mouth. Magnus didn't even looked fazed...not too badly...

"Alexander is not disgusting." I seethed.

"I didn't say-"

"Yes you did."

"Maryse, dear, don't take it like that. I love Alec, he's a great kid, but that's not right, you know that." She spoke like she was speaking to a wounded animal, that tone that was meant to be calming, but, on the contrary, could be quite infuriating.

I steadied my breathing, clenching my fists. part of me wanted to grab Robert's hand for support, but another part of me needed the clear-cut feeling brought on by anger to focus my 's support would merge me with him, and at this moment I needed to be myself, if only for a second.

"Alec can love whoever Alec wants to love." I barked, surprising Robert.

"Don't you think we talk to Alec first?" asked the Inquisitor. "For all we know this is complete and utter foolishness."

"Fine. We'll go talk to Alec and be back here tomorrow."

I was curled up in my bed, lavishing in the fact that I pretty much had a day off-Mom, Dad, Daime, and Lily were at a Clave meeting, Izzy was taking care of Jasmine, and I wasn't really concerned were Cam and Jace were - I was happy to be resting. Catching up on sleep demons had stole - in the form of those I fought and Magnus.

Magnus wasn't texting back, and I assumed he either he a client, was sleeping, or doing something relating to his make-up and hair.

My phone was rested snuggly on my hip and I buried my face in the pillow, grabbing my iPod; I'd become hooked on the song "Trouble" by NeverShoutNever. All the words hit a cord with me, in a good way. Izzy knew how to find a good singer; whoever sang for this band had a gorgeous voice.

"And that cellularr will be the death of us, I swear, I swear..." I sang softly under my breath, laughing to myself at the words.

The headphone was yanked out of my ear and I looked up, knowing the culprit even before he said a word.

"Camdyn, please leave me alone, I'm tired..." I trailed off, wishing he'd leave me alone.

His eyes were round and evil as he said, "Shut up, or I'll tell Jace you're gay."

"I'm not afraid of Jace." my voice was hard, annoyed, as I fought for control...I was afraid of Jace. or, more, of Jace knowing my secret.

"Really." he said it as a statement, not a question.

"Really." I answered.

"So you won't mind this." He growled, then brought his lips to mine.

It was a fierce kiss, not what I was used to. He was somehow rougher with me then Magnus, nipping at my lips sadistically, without tenderness, all in lust. I didn't like it.

I turned my head and Cam said, "Alec..please..." he sounded so defenseless for a moment, so vulnerable..

But I knew Cam. I knew this was the boy that would just as soon break my arm.

"Camdyn, get. Off. Me. Now."

Cam hovered over my body, the look of a predator on his face. He sighed and pushed back. "Why are you denying your sexuality?" he sneered at me and I shot back, "Why are you denying yours?" he growled, low and menacing in his throat and said, "Jace doesn't have anything over me anymore so you better watch your back." Then he turned and left the room.

Everything made sense now-Jace had known Cam was gay, somehow or the other, when we were so so young. And Cam submitted to him because of it. But now I knew. I wondered if his parents knew. Somehow, it felt good to know there were other gay Shadowhunters. To know I wasn't as alone as I'd always thought.

(An 30-45 minutes later)

"Alec..." Mom poked her head in my room. "We need to talk."

**Sorry for the cliffhanger, I'm writing fast as I can (: School tomorrow unfortunately, but if somehow I don't get this done before the week is over, I'll have all Christmas break to write (: Also-didn't think Maryse seemed the type to curse. Agreed..? **

**Lastly- My sis hasn't touched CoG all weekend, she's been playing vid games apparently . so either I will be going to Walmart and buying her something in exchange for CoG or begging mom to take me the library tomorrow...either way hopefully I'll have it soon (:**


	15. The Verdict

**JinxxedbyaShadow- Sorry about grammar mistakes a)I don't have spell/grammar check on my computer and b)I'm only in 8th grade and our school system sucks so yeah :P I'm just learning most grammar, anything else is just natural from reading alot. lol. But anywayyy, thank you very very much (:**

**Bookworm-LOL :P Cam is a creeper**

**Kitten-lol I keep thinking this is almost done and then adding more parts in my head...but I think it's almost done now (: So no more cliffys soon xD **

**Dani-Should I tack on an extra chapter of this to kinda bring closure to Cam's story, too? I ask you because you'er the on;y one whose seemed to feel bad for Cam..lol..and thanks (:**

**SnowAngel-Am I forgiven? :P**

**FrenchkissofMandM-THANKS UU (:**

**Shi-Toyu- teehee**

My body went rigid. There was something in her voice. Something I didn't like. Something...I don't know. I couldn't place it, and that was exactly what unsettled me. "Okay.." I'd always had my fears that she would look at me one day and see me, really see me, like Magnus had, but so far it had never happened...that thought was what quickened my heart rate.

"Alec.." she sat down at the foot of the bed, avoiding my eyes. "We had a bit of a disturbance during the Clave meeting."

Huh? What happened? Anxiety shot through my veins like morphine to a mundie, or an iratze for a Shadowhunter, but rather then numbing or healing, I felt fear begin to choke me, to constrict my throat. Had someone been killed? A war broken out among Downworlders?

"Someone barged into our meeting...a warlock. Perhaps you know him?"

Magnus. The name came into my head and I had no doubt of it, yet I couldn't manage to vocalize the words. What had he said? _Why_?

"Do you have any idea who it was?"

I nodded, head swimming.

"Who?" her voice was anguished, harsh and sharp.

"Magnus" I felt my lips form around the words, but nothing came out.

"What?" she asked, her voice a bit softer, but still stern.

"Magnus" I replied, louder, emotions flooding my thought process.

"Do you have any idea what he told us?"

I held a small glimmer of hope that he wanted to discuss something else with them that wasn't _us_ as I said, "Not a clue."

"Really, now?" her voice raised, anger carved into her voice with a knife. "So this drunken warlock was speaking foolishness when he said that you two were seeing each other? When he asked if your relationship was possible? When everyone decided the choice of whether my _gay_son could be with a warlock was on Robert and I's shoulders; that was all for nothing? A strangled sob escaped her throat and I couldn't help but think, shouldn't I be the one crying? The one upset, scared?

I was too mad, though. How could Magnus do that? Mom had said drunken though...but why had he gotten that drunk? That was a stupid thing to do...and now he put us in a horrible situation.

"It's true." I whispered, barley able to speak, it hurt my throat so bad.

Mom's eyes were wet as she said, "I have to bring you back to the Clave in the morning, Alec. or now, if you like, I'm sure I could organize everyone back"I nodded numbly and said, "Okay."

"You realize what has to be done, don't you?"

"Enlighten me" I replied, wishing I had Jace's sharp tongue to keep me safe inside myself.

"The Clave would let you and Magnus..be, let you have this twisted relationship. It's okay with them, but do you know how they are resting this decision on? Robert and I, Alexander. I would let you be with whoever you want, but the connotations to the Lightwood name would be..awful" she paused, head falling into her hands. "I don't know what to do, Alec."

I kept my mouth shut. High, concentrated emotion makes us say stupid things. I was afraid of the words that would spill out if I let them. There were so many different, contradicting things I wanted to say. I wanted to be mad at Magnus, to say whatever, screw our relationship. Part of me that wanted to shake mom and ask her what was so wrong with a warlock, anyway? Part of me just wanted to scream. Cam kissing me was still fresh in my mind, too...the only other boy I'd ever kiss was pressing his self into my mind uncomfortably, like a nightmare, the ghost of it still in my mind... "Can I talk to Magnus before we go to the Clave meeting"

Mom shoke her head sadly, "No. The Clave deosn't want you to plan anything."

"We wouldn't-" I began in indignation, feeling fire mix in my chest.

"The Clave doesn't trust Downworlders, Alec" she murmered to her hands.

"Fine. When can we go?"

"Can you be ready within the hour?" her phone was void of emotion,cold and steely.

"I am ready." I tried to return the monotone, but still emotion seemed to slip.

"Okay, let's go." she got up, blotted her eyes with a sigh, and said, 'Give me your phone."

"Why?" I might as well go kicking and screaming, right? Or the Alexander Lightwood version of kicking and screaming, I was a little to passive for kicking and screaming most of the time..

"So you can't call or text Magnus."

My hand shook as I pulled the rainbow-colored phone out of my pocket and handed it to her. The disdain was clear in her gaze, but I saw something else, too...laughter? How could she be laughing, though? it was gone too quickly for me to decide.

We took a portal back rather then a car or walking and arrived in the large room in a matter of minutes. Mom and Dad were refusing to look at me and I didn't have the courage to ask them their verdict. Izzy had been holding my hand the entire time, and for once I didn't shrug her off. Cam's entertainment at the whole situation was getting under my skin. Jace...was Jace. Made a joke about it, something about Magnus being magically delicious..

When I saw Magnus, anger and longing simotaneously pounded at my chest. I hated the feeling; it was like drowning. I bit my lip and refused to meet his eyes. The pain and pounding in my ears was like nothing I'd ever experienced before..

Izzy PoV

The Inquisitor had a look on her face, a devilish look, like she was about to win. I felt sick to my stomach; was that really how she saw this? Pulling apart affection (love?) as winning? If she did...now that was really what was disgusting.

"So," she began, her voice silencing the chatter as we all sat down. I refused to release Alec's clammy hand; he needed the support.

"Alec, Magnus, you two both admit to knowing each other, seeing each other, being sweethearts, however you wish to put it?"

"Yes." his voice was stronger then I would have thought he could manage for how scared he was. Looking at him, you could see it, but I felt his hand trembling.

"Okay. I will give you two boys a chance now, to renounce your affections for each other, otherwise we will discuss it, and ultimately, the decision will be with Maryse and Robert. Do you wish to continue this?"

"Yes." responded Magnus immediately.

I saw Alec bite his lip, skin slicing open under sharp canine teeth, blood pooling on his mouth. His voice was a mere whisper, a soft and desolate, "Yes."

She nodded her head curtly and said, "Well, what are the pros and cons to this, my fellow Nephilim? What shall the verdict me for these two?"

A heard "It's wrong", "warlock are demons", "warlocks are liars", and "they're both boys, that's gross!" before my vision went red for a moment; I clamped my hand down on Alec's again, knowing I had to stay strong for him. He couldn't do this without me, I didn't think.

"So love is wrong?" slithered out of my mouth harshly, and the room was silent before Molly said, "Isabelle, you aren't of age to participate in meetings, please remain quiet." I shut my mouth with a huff, and Alec said, "But she's right. Why is finding someone so wrong?"

"He's a warlock, Alec." whispered Lilly from behind us.

"And hes' a Shadowhunter! Let's stop pointing out the obvious" exclaimed Jace.

"Hush, Jonathan." said Lilly sharply. Everyone was glaring at us and the Insquisitor said, "Have you made your choice yet, Maryse? Robert? Keep in mind the dishonor to the Lightwood name that will come with letting this be."

Dad whispered something in Mom's ear and she nodded gravely; my stomach clenched. There was a grave look on her face and I feared what she would say.

"Alec can be with whoever he wants."

******(I'd end there, but I'm not going to lol)**

Magnus PoV

Alec looked woozy. His head had to be spinning-I know mine was. I couldn't believe his mom was okay with it...that she would put the name Lightwood to shame so Alec could be happy.

The Inquisitor looks outraged as she said, "Okay. Get the children out of here now so us adults my continue our meeting. she had a sneer on her face, a look of absolute contempt as Izzy, Jace, Alec, Cam, and I slunk out of the room. Well, Cam swaggered- he was the swaggering type, it seemed, arrogance plastered on his face. An evil look of arrogance not unlike other boys I'd seen in my past(A\N - Like Will).

The door slammed shut and me and Alec turned towards each other like puppets on a string. He looked at me, his blue eyes full and round. We stood like that for a couple of moments and then Alec walked over to me, burying his face in my chest.

"You ass" he said as he kissed me, his lips warm and delicious and strong on mine. I breathed him in, beginning to forget where I was. This was so much better then liquor.

"Ew. I'm leaving, now, bye.." I heard Jace say and I smiled against Alec's mouth. I heard three sets of retreating footsteps and thought, "Good, we're alone.."

"Hope you enjoy those lips, Magnus, 'cause I know I did." Alec went rigid, telling me Cam wasn't lying without words. I pulled my face from Alec's and said, "You kissed him?"

"He kissed me!" Alec yelled back in indignation. He looked so pathetic, so vulnerable and upset, but I didn't care. He'd kissed a boy that wasn't me. Camdyn's sneer just made it worse.

Jace, on the other hand, looked pissed, and this suspicion was confirmed when he punched Cam in the shoulder. Why not the face or the jaw? I wondered.

"Don't go crying to your mother or she'll disown you."

"Why would that be?" panted Cam.

Jace's face adopted the same sneer Cam's had worm earlier as he said, "Didn't you see the way she didn't stand up for Alec? The look she gave my mom? I'm sure she'll love to know you're the same way."

"I don't like a filthy warlock." he spat, hatred red in his eyes.

Jace pressed him against the wall and said, "But I'm sure you like this, don't you? Yeah, you do, so fuck off and leave Alec alone.

It didn't matter what Jace did, though, or what Alec said, how pathetic he looked.

"Bye." I whispered, stepping into the portal I'd formed behind myself.

**Was Jace too intense? Was it going to far making him swear? And stand up for Alec like that? i don't know. it fit, I thought.. I FINALLY know EXACTLY how this is going to end :D Most likely, there will be two more chapters and an epilogue from Cam's PoV. Trust me, I know this part is like 'How could she end like that? but it's going to end super fluffy :D I will start writing more after I eat dinner, MIGHT have a new chap posted my morning, otherwise it wil be after school tomorrow..hope you enjoyed this chap(:**


	16. Sorry this is short Song Exchange

**Bookworm- uhhh I don't know why magnus didn't curse him, lol, and Jace didn't punch him in the face because he didn't want the bruise somewhere Lilly would see and assume 'fight', just like what Cam used to do to them.**

**Shi-Toyu- LOL that was one of the best reviews I've gotten, it was hilarious xD *see fluff below***

**-tayl0r- Magnus is very dramatic in my mind :P lol**

**Thanks everyone SO MUCH for the reviews :DD Love you all, giant cookies for you all (: 3**

My mouth was left gaping open. Cam's smirk was only slightly subdued by jace's outburst.

"I...Magnus...Cam...Kiss." I stuttered.

"Cam, you ass!" screeched Izzy as I fell back against the column supporting the roff up. My eyes swam-i felt tears, felt them like fire ants clawing at my eyes. Why had things gone like that? I would've told Magnus, but not in the way Cam did. Did we really just go through all that for nothing?

"Alec." Izzy's voice was consoling in my ear, gentle, her arms wrapping around me. Why was this happening? I thought in a daze. Izzy was supposed to look up to me; I was supposed to hold izzy as she cried. I was her big brother, I was supposed to protect her, not the other way around. This was wrong, all wrong, everything was falling apart just when I was starting to think it was falling into place.

***4 days later***

My face was hot and red; I was beyond exhausted. The day of me and Magnus's fight I'd only cried for a minute or two before sucking it all in; after that I had to lie to Mom about where Magnus was, and of course when I get home there were demons teeming all over, so I've barely had a moment to myself. Now, tears wet my cheeks, the fire ants that had clung to my eyes and ate at my stomach finally being set free. I shuddered, curling my hands around my phone. I desperatly wanted to say sorry, but I didn't have the words...It felt good to cry sometimes, to reliever the tension; it felt decadent, really.

It was 11:39 at night, I'd woken up from a deep physical workout-induced slumber, and the first that that occured to me was that I was alone.

I convulsed, gasping on a sob, and rolled onto my side, blanket snuggled against me. I wiped my face, wanting to push away all traces of the pain-

My door cracked open and I jumped, pulling the dark blue comforter around my face to hide from whoever it was...

"Alec. It's just me." she shut my door softly, walking over to my bed and sitting on top of my covers on her stomach, one leg thrown over mine, the rest of her in line with my body. She was wearing a black tank-top and purple pajama bottoms, face void of any make-up and I couldn't help but be struck by how grown-up she looked. I didn't look at her, like _really_ look at her, that often, I guess; and even in my dim room I could see the maturity in her eyes.

"You've been crying." she whispered softly, voice full of concern.

"Am I now?" I mumbled back, feeling another wave of tears rip at my body.

She curled into my body and whispered, "Have you ever thought of apologizing to Magnus with a song? Like, using the lyrics to tell him sorry?"

"I don't know enough music." I murmered into her hair, pulling my arms out and wrapping them around her. She was steady, real, and felt familiar and comfortable against me.  
_"Here I am, half a man, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a tan And I never helped the score ...All my flaws to see But you still love, Love me...Here I am face down, Sometimes I smile or frown, But it depends on the time of day...Haven't spoken in a year 'Cause I still have fears I'm tryin' to overcome All my flaws to see  
But you still love, love me You still love me, Even when I sin I don't fit in ,'Cause I've been burned when I waited my turn , Call it a phase call me a taboo, Won't do as I'm told to believe,I wear my heart on my sleeve "_

I was lost in her words, the melodic flow of her voice over the gentle lyrics. "Perfect." I breathed, elated. Hope expanded my chest in a wonderful way. Izzy smiled and said, "Text the words to him, Alec."

Izzy sang the song to me and I wrote the text, adding 'Flawz-Caitlin Crosby. I'm sorry, Magnus.' I sent the message and bit my lip, hard, hoping the hope filling my body wouldn't be for nothing.

"Oh, Alec, and "I've never lit a match with intent to starta fire, but recently the flames are getting out of control, call me a name, kill me with words, forget about me it's what I deserve..."

"Eh..." I mumbled, liking the lyrics but wanting Magnus to, "Call me a name, kill me with words."

''Alec. Whether or not you intended to, you really hurt Magnus, and.."

"And I should make sure he knows I feel at fault?"

"Honestly? Yes."

I sighed and had Izzy repeat the words to me.. "...Jasey Rae-All Time Low."

"Do you think he'll forgive me, Izzy?"

"I really hope so. i don't like seeing you like this, knowing you're in pain, especially because it's Cam inflicted."

My phone buzzed and I closed my eyes, handing it to Izzy. "Read it to me." I whispered.

"But what if it says som-"

"You'll want to know what it says, anyway. Just read it."

She sighed and spoke, "You'd hate this song, so don't look it up. I'm not a big fan of it, but it suits my purposes...

_'I've been writing this letter  
For a couple of months now  
And right now  
What I wanna do  
Is I wanna express this letter  
To you  
It goes like this...  
Your eyes  
They flow  
From all the pain I caused  
I lost my cause  
I only broke your heart  
Alone I cry  
I tried so hard to break you  
I love you  
I hate you  
Why wont you let me go?  
I, I feel the raindrops fall  
These tears wont take you away,  
I'm sorry  
I, I hear the thunder scream  
It's screaming out for me,  
I'm sorry  
The rain it drips the rain drops dripping  
I'd die tonight  
If only you were here  
I'd tell you I'm sorry  
I'd fucking disapear  
Betrayed,  
You look so pretty now  
Without me  
Alone  
The tears come crashing down.'_ BrokeNCYDE- I'm Sorry, I am."

I started to cry again.

My phone rang, now, Magnus's ringtone(She'sGotStyle by NSN) singing.

I answered, "Hey." feeling tears choke me.

"Hey, Alec."

"I'm sorry, Magnus."

"I am too, Alec."

"Can I come over?"

"Of course."

(((Full lyrics here(Izzy picks bits and pieces that are relevent to Alec): . )))

About my song choices:Think about the lyrics to Flawz. "I never helped the score"-he's never killed a demon. "I still have fears I'm trying to overcome."-He's still a bit afraid of his sexuality. Those are the main parts, then the chorus. 3

Jasey Rae-'never lit a match with intent to start a fire, recently the flames are getting out of control"

I'm Sorry I am-Magnus made Alec cry...he knows that. He's saying sorry.

1 more chapter, guys, then an epilouge (: I typed this all out before school and only have like 15 minutes to finish getting ready now, say thanks xDD lol (: i like having reviews when I get home :P


	17. Talk

**GOOD NEWS I HAVE CITY OF GLASS! I'M GOING TO TYPE A LITTLE AND GO READ! **

**Shi-Toyu- Awwww thanks *hugs back* lmao, I'm going to start working on a Infernal Devices one-shot(Will/Jem..I'm yaoi obsessed, what can I say..lol) and some more malec song fics, maybe that will help? :P**

**Bookworm-(:**

**Dani-Gooood I'm glad it was emotional cuz I was writing the last little bit really fast before school...lol**

**So we had testing today and it stretched into second hour, so I had like 45 minutes to write, but we sit at tables in my first hour(science) and she's always looking at my writing and it's so freaking creepy...does anyone ever do that to you guys? lol  
Does anyone else listen to music that the majority of the population doesn't like? I feel like I am always having to explain to people that just because someone screams in a song or has a slow song doesn't mean the lyrics aren't good *frustration***

**This chap is ridicusously short so I will upload this and the Epilouge at the same time (:**

"I'm going to Magnus's." I murmered softly, shrugging Izzy off of me.

She sat up, grinning, and said, "Tell me what happens." while winking at me.

I blushed, looking at the hung-up phone dazedly(is that a word? If not, pretend it says 'in a daze'). Was this really happening? Was I dreaming? Who cares?

I drew a hoddie tighly around my body, pulling on jeans over my pajama pants.

It seemed like no time at all before I was hesitating on Magnus's step, biting my lip.

I took a breath, anticipation coiling in my stomach like an anoconda. I knocked softly, my hands a bit frozen, fear making them quake.

"Come in." crackled the intercome; I heard the lock click open and I jumped a little.

The walk up his steps was horribly long and tense, but only because I amde it so, because I was feeling so high-strung.

I pished open the door to his flat, slipped through the door, and leaned against the wall. Magnus was sitting on the couch in a silky green and pink kimono pulled up around his body. His legs were bare and I wondered if that was all he was wearing...

"Hey, Alec."

"Hello, Magnus." I was well-aware of how stiff I sounded, but I couldn't help it. I also couldn't take my eyes off of Magnus- his hair straight and down, flaling around his neck and face, brushing his cheeks. He looked so...attractive. So very, very attractive. But we needed to talk, not kiss, I knew that. I felt it in my stomach.

"You can sit down, Alec, I don't bite unless you want me to." His lips turned up as I squirmed, begging for my chagrin to fade.

I sat down, noting that the couch was now blue, a soft baby blue."

"Why is the couch blue?" I asked, wishing to avoid the subject as long as I could.

"I wanted a change. You don't like it?"

"No..I do." I replied honestly. And I did-blue was my favorite color besides black.(A/N Blue and Black are my favorite colors too...lol)

"Alec...you know what we need to talk about."

"I didn't kiss Camdyn, I swear to you. he came into my room, messing with me, and he kissed me. I pushed him off."

"You did?" Magnus looked hopeful, and added to that, a little amazed.

"Yes, I did." I repied, annoyed. Why hadn't he let me say this before, let me prove myself before? But no, he freaked and disappeared like the dramatic teenager that_ I _was supposed to be.

"But still. You're lips...someone else has kissed them now...you aren't just _mine_." Talk about an insecurity complex. Or was he just being jealous? Maybe...

"Magnus..." I murmered his name, hoping everything I wanted to say was there, in the tone of my voice, in the sincerity of my eyes, in the hitch in my breath.

he leaned over, pushing me into the arm of the couch. He raised an eyebrow, saying, 'Is this what you want?' without really saying it.

I nodded, pulling his kimono and forcing him closer to me.

He brought his face to mine, his mouth slipping to my ear, breath tickling my skin.

"My butterfly, I'm happy when you're with me, you're everything I see and everything I need." and then he brought his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply.

He pulled away for a moment and I groaned, "I love you, Magnus Bane."

"I love you too." he whispered back.

***(So I wanted to do a Kandyland one-shot[that's the butterfly song], would you still guys want that, like a longer version of this?)***


	18. Epilouge

**-Epilouge- First, you have to understand that Elton John is gay, and the song I use on here, Freaks In Love, is about being gay and in love..that adds to the meaning of this song, in my mind. I really love this song, even before it was a "Malec" song in my head (:**

I woke up, pushing the grogginess from my mind, and tried to figure out where I was. An unfamiliar bed...

Magnus's bed. Said warlock was wrapped around me, our bodies twinned. The warm air from his loft licked at the bare skin of my chest.

I wondered for a moment if I could disentangle myself without waking him, but decided against it, savoring the feel of his skin against mine.

I could see a bruise on the side of his neck and felt my stoamch flip. _I did that_, I thought. I made that mark. My mouth and teeth.

My lips still felt a little puffy, but much less swollen then they'd been when I passedo ut last night.

I strained my neck, looking at the clock on theb edside table(which hadn't made the switch to blue, unfortunetly, and neither had the bed).11 in the morning. Damn, it was a good thing I'd told Magnus to text Izzy and tell her not to wait up. Her reply to that, of course, had been, "Have fun with Alec **;**P" Izzy was evil sometimes. Magnus had laughed and typed back, "Okay **;**D" even when I told him not to.

I saw my screen flash, no sound or vibration, but color and light.

I bit my lip, looking at the phone, then Magnus, deciding I'd rather be buried in the warlock's chest. Much rather...

"You can answer your phone, Alexander." murmered Magnus, making me jump so suddenlyI almost lost balance and fell off of the bed.

He slipped out of my arms and I was quick to feel the chill.

Picking up my phone he smirked and said, 'It's Jace."

"Open it." I shrugged, pulling myself over to Magnus and sitting on his lap as he read the message, arms around me.

"Where are you? R u w/ Magnus? What the hell Alec!"

"Ask Izzy ;P replied Magnus before I could tell him not to. Magnus was sure monopolizing my phone a lot lately.

Not that I really minded.

"Magnus? Alec doesn't use winky faces."

"I have Alec's phone. Figure the rest out for yourself." I giggled, turning my face up to his. My phone slipped from Magnus's hand onto the carpeted floor and our lips connected.

Magnus sucked on my lower lip and Isighed softly.

My stomach growled.

"Hungry, Alec?" he pulled away from me, grinning.

"Not for food." I twisted around and pulled him on top of me.

"You'll run out of energy if you don't eat, Blue Eyes." he groaned, but I could feel his resolve disolving as he ground his hips against mine, smashing his lips against mine. My hips bucked a little, my back arching into him, and I felt myself getting lost in his body.

"Wait...Alec...I have to show you something..." he pulled up, getting off the bed, and switched on the stereo. He hit a few bottons and some soft music started to play. Magnus began singing the lyrics as the deep male voice did. "Me and you we're not that pretty, Me and you could use a lift,I'm out here on the corner crying, I got ribbons but I got no gift." He paused and murmered, "Listen to the chorus when I sing it."

"Me and you we're all we've got  
Me and you could be our curse  
We've got bleeding hearts and flowers  
You got strings but you got no purse"  
He turned to me, pinning my body down, and sang right to my face, in my ear, "We're just freaks in love, Saints above, Shine on our sweet life, Happy is the union, Of fools and freaks alike, And fearless are the idiots, Among the hawks and doves, We're on the outside looking in,A couple of freaks in love"  
He grinned at the look of amazement on my face. Words were strong, I'd learned that from Jace, but I'd never been good with words; never had it occured to me that I could use someone else's words and have them mean so much.

"There's a wonder in this weakness  
It's so beautiful sometimes  
Across the universe we're lightning  
In the race we're a step behind

Me and you we're not for everyone  
Me and you we're damaged goods  
We're antique and unacceptable  
And just misunderstood."

He sang the rest of the song, tenderness in his voice as he kissed my nose.

"Freaks in Love." I murmered to him, a stupid smile surely on my face.

"Forever, Blue Eyes."

****

Three things-ONE would you want this to continue? Something bad to happen, then get fixed fluffily? Songfic fluff?

TWO-Would you like Chapter 17 and the Epilouge in Magnus's point of view?

THREE-Would you like a Cam story? I have a short, chapter or two idea in my head, anyone wanna read that? (:

Also, thank you anyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, or added me to your alerts, i love you all and really enjoyed writing this :D


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